Forever Lullaby
by thefollyofmolly
Summary: AU: Meet Sora, an average college student, and Riku, a not so average assassin, so what could possibly tie these two together? When they meet for a late night Starbucks, is it coincidence? Or are Riku's intentions fatal? [RikuSora & AxelRoxas]
1. Assassination

**Forever Lullaby  
I **Assassination  
**Overall Fic Rating **T for Teens, mild language, violence, and some disturbing concepts  
**Warning **this fanfiction contains Yaio, so if you have any problems with this, please close the page.  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney

000---000

Lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating Twilight Town for only a moment. He stood amongst the rain, listening for the following thunder. It cracked across the sky not a moment after its brethren had done the same. The cloaked figure smiled, his face invisible underneath the shadowed hood. Beside him, another cloaked figure shifted, his thumb running along something near his hip.

_Life lies on the thread, yet it is the thread itself - it clings to our needs, clings to earthly things that can only be avoided by immortals, who are devoid of this planet and only exists in the heavens themselves.  
_  
"Let's go," The smaller one said, holding up the blade he had been caressing. The larger one shook his head, rolling his fingers in and out of his palm for lack of anything better thing to do, other than the mission ahead. It wasn't time yet; his instincts were bristled carefully – telling him to wait, to linger in the eye of the storm. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest, lurching every second when he thought of it. It wasn't from nerves, but from excitement. Excitement of the kill.

_We depend on life's needs, its wants and craves, and without these, we shall fall. Blood flows through our veins, bringing us the life that causes us to thrive, survive, and live.  
_  
"It's time..." He whispered, his foot teetering on the edge of the building. The other looked at him, then turned his face away, his gaze penetrating the neon lit hotel looming in front of them. "Roxas," The man continued, holding his hand in front of the boy. "Wait."

"I've done enough waiting." He hissed, and, with that, leapt off of the building, the bright billboard below illuminating his cloaked frame. The man shook his head, silvery hair whipping in the breeze. Roxas hit the ground safely, though he could see that the boy's knees buckle for a moment, then he rushed at the hotel, clambering up the wall. He frowned; such rash actions were anything but acceptable. Even so, he followed suit, his feet locked carefully along the building as he toppled towards the ground, flipping to where his feet landed softly on the drenched concrete.

_Nothing opposes the internal instincts to survive in our lowly life form.  
_  
The hotel towered above him, and he was glad his assignment's room was only on the second floor. Still, he didn't have as much leverage as Roxas did, so he pulled out two daggers, plunging one into the ground and placing a leather bound foot on the slippery wall. He grunted, repeating the process until the dagger slashed through a window pane. Ignoring the glass protruding from his wrist, he pulled himself up onto the windowsill, pausing to take in the dimly lit hotel room. He punched through the rest of the window and leapt into the room, lurking into the shadows. He glanced around for any sign of life, and his vision rested on a couple cuddled in the corner of the room, their clothes scattered over the floor.  
_  
Except, love. But what did he care about love? It was a figment of life, something that wasn't the pure need to live.  
_  
Bile grew in the back of his throat as he stood; the scant amount of light streaking into the room for a moment, then his visage was once again sunk into the shadows._  
_  
"Hello," He smiled at them, head tilting to one side. They looked up, eyes wide, as always. Surprise, shock - such silly things. One could never be too careful. He bent over, pulling another blade from his boot, and walked slowly up to the couple, whose backs were pressed against the wall. Cowards. "Slow and painful, or fast and easy?" He liked his victim's opinions on their doomed fate. It was only fair, after all. No response. "Hm, my partner's probably getting impatient, so I'll choose for you. Fast and easy, looks like you're in luck tonight."

_He did this because of his instincts to live, even if it took other's lives. Money is what lets us live, provides us with the basic necessities. Without such, we cannot exist.  
_  
Silence. He lifted the two blades, rubbing his thumb along the shafts, watching them glimmer in a flash of light. Once the lightning faded away, he released them, watching them penetrate the couple. The lowly life forms, his _assignment_, fell, dead on the spot.

_What does love have to do with it? _

000---000  
_…to be continued…_


	2. Coffee

**Forever Lullaby  
II** Coffee  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language**  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**  
**000---000

"Love's like coffee, ya' know?" My occasionally insane, redheaded bestfriend commented, taking a sip of her 'borrowed' Starbucks espresso. "It usually starts out black and bitter, but the more cream you put into it, the sweeter it gets, but it never really gets to the very bottom, and once it ends all-too-soon, you're left with that same bitter taste."

I looked down at my own coffee and sloshed it back and forth, brown beads sticking to the Styrofoam. Kairi had found a way to make us coffees without being noticed by Starbuck's surprisingly high-tech security system, since she said 'the Starbucks-founder-guy was too damn rich anyways, and both of us too damn underpaid.' Besides, we worked graveyard shift, and it wouldn't be the best thing in the world if we fell asleep.

I glanced at Kairi, finally deciding to respond, though I was too much in my bored state of mind to think of anything quick or witty, not that I did so on a normal basis. "I think that Psycho class is getting to you."

"Psych_ology_, Sora." She corrected smartly, lifting her head in significant importance. "And, you know as well as me that I _am _going to be the next Dr. Phil. Why stop there? The next Oprah! I'll make millions for my helpful input."

"Right, and I'll be the next Donald Trump for my amazing business skills." I gave her a sarcastic look and leaned against the counter, gaze lingering on the depressingly empty café. Who got coffee at midnight anyway?

"Okay, you know what? Just for that, you_ won't_ be getting a free car." Kairi stood from the loveseat and strode behind the counter, standing next to me with her back against the warm pastries case. Just looking at them made me hungry. Kairi noticed my ravenous look and made me a quick latté, making sure she wasn't under the camera's line of vision. How she ever figured out where that line of vision was under that round blackness, I'll never know, but I took the warm cup gratefully. It would suffice until I got a raise, then I could finally buy those overly priced pastries.

"Oh yeah, I got a letter from Princeton." I kept my eyes lingering on my latté, waiting for some sign that it was cool enough to drink, unless I wanted to burn my tongue off. The unending wisps of steam told me it wasn't.

"Really?! Did you get accepted?" Kairi was all ears and eyes, and I could almost hear the excitement boiling. It made me want to a stick a knife in her, even if I should find it endearing that she cared. But I'd been getting used to my free time, and with that one acceptance letter, it'd all been whisked away from me. I hated her for suggesting trying to get into Princeton, where'd she was a Sophomore, which I found a little unfair, since she was the same age as me – me being the oldest one by a month – but had skipped a grade somewhere in elementary, so she graduated high school a year earlier, then, unlike myself, applied for a billion colleges and got accepted by almost all of them. She chose Princeton because 'prince' is her favorite word, and she loves anything that ends with 'ton'. Don't ask me why, she's just weird like that, but all the geniuses were/are usually weird or psychotic.

"Yeah." I said shortly, not nearly ecstatic as her. I listened vaguely as she began listing off all the classes I should take and all the clubs I should join and something about sharing a dorm, although I already told her I could never afford it. I might've been more excited, bubbly, and giddy, as I normally am, but I liked not having to study anymore. And it was midnight after all.

I sighed boredly, wondering if anything exciting would happen, like a robbery. I could use a robbery. And then _it _happened, the thing that'd change my life forever. The automatic doors slid open, revealing a shadowed figure, black against the darkness. The moonlight outlined the figure with fragile silver. My breath caught when he stepped into the warm, fluorescent light. The first thing I noticed was his ghostly ethereal skin, quite a contrast to his dark attire, then his thin aquamarine eyes, obscured by a sheet of long, silvery locks. By the way he walked – floated – was something akin to romance novels, where the hero would rush to his heroine and sweep her off her feet. Not that I actually _read _anything like _that. _

"Coffee."

000---000  
_...to be continued...  
_  
I felt like I should end on an amazing, thought provoking note. 'Coffee'


	3. Grandé

**Forever Lullaby  
III** Grandé  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language**  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**  
**000---000

_Coffee_. Just coffee, not a 'Grandé low fat decaf mocha espresso frap with vanilla, cinnamon, and chocolate flavor shots – oh, and leave the whip cream out, because I'm on a strict no-artificially-flavored-stuff diet'. I dubbed him crazy.**  
**  
"Coffee?" I repeated – it was a question

"Starbucks _does _sell coffee, right?" Yup, definitely crazy. "Of course," I reply politely, something Kairi wasn't doing very well. I could hear stifled giggles from the girl, who was still pressed up against me after her ecstatic rambling. "What size?" I continue, eyes adverting his.

"What?" He looked at me, expression, from what I could see, bewildered.

"What size _of coffee_?" I point to the cups lining the counter, all varying in size, but not in festive Halloween images, although Halloween passed about two months ago. It was nearing Christmas, so we'd have a big stock of Christmas decorated cups coming soon; they usually lasted till about Easter.

"Right." There was something very deceivingly innocent in that voice, something that makes him sound…alright, like a normal kind of guy, but there was that mischievous, misleading spark that glinted in his eyes; something I never could quite figure out. "Ah, large."

"Grandé," I reach out for said cup, but the even more bewildered expression on his face stopped me. I looked up at him, tilting my head in question.

"Grandé?"

"Yeah, Grandé." I start for the cup again, but aggravation flashed in his eyes. I glanced at Kairi, who looked quite amused at his expressions.

"No comprendé inglish?" He rubs something in his pocket, a frown etched in his features. I blink at him, then realized that he must've thought I was speaking Spanish. "Large…" He pulls out a Grandé cup, stopping to examine the decorations with a look of disbelief, then turned back at me. "I…want…biiiig cup!"

I grin at Kairi and open my mouth to say something, then another thing that would completely change my life happened; the doors slid open…again. A yellow streak flew at the baffled man, shoving something in his arms and running to the bathroom. About ten seconds later, the toilet flushes and water runs, then the yellow reappeared, paying absolutely no attention to me and Kairi; his fiery blue eyes were locked on the man, and he would've been almost intimidating if he wasn't at least three inches shorter than him.

"What…the _hell_ were you thinking?" Lines of fury line his mouth as he said this, and I noticed his hands were balled into tight fists. "You _leave without my consent_? We're partners, damnit Riku! Do you know how much trouble we could've gotten into? AND HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO _STARBUCKS_, OF ALL PLACES?"

"Roxas," Riku, as I assumed he was called, said, looking calm if not annoyed. "You're not my mother."

Roxas, as I also assumed he was called, quieted, his eyes still burning at Riku. He took a deep breath and looked up at the menu, ordering a vanilla latté. My favorite. Kairi turned to make it, eyeing the two in curiosity.

"Anyway," I said, interrupting their staring contest, only to have angry sparks aimed in my direction. I swallowed and gently took the cup from Riku, who was resistant to let it go. "Riku, right?" I pull out a black sharpie and look at him expectantly – he nods. I smile, writing the name in loopy cursive. "Grandé, black… coming right up."

"What's your name?" Riku asked, looking over the delicious pastries. He looked just as hungry as me, and maybe just as broke. "Oh, and include a cookie or something." Scratch that, I re-dubbed him crazy _and _rich.

I let the coffee-maker slowly dribble out its black contents and pointed to my nametag. 'Hi! My name is Sora' it read. The employees had insisted on _normal _nametags, but the store owner was loony and had some nametags left over from her school teaching days, thus gave them to us as a sorry excuse for a way to 'associate' with our customers. At least it was a good topic starter, something like: why the heck are you wearing _that_? Or, with most rich preps, 'that totally does _NOT _match that green-apron-thing!'

"Sora…" Riku said, watching me put a random cookie on the counter. I pulled out his finished coffee and put a cap on it, setting it down and mindlessly taking his money. "You don't look…busy…" He gestured to the empty café, "Wanna sit with me and Roxas?"

"Sure." I pulled off my apron, throwing it on the counter. "Want to take a break, Kairi?"

"Definitely." Kairi yanked off her apron as well, letting it fall to the floor. "But if boss lady finds out, I'm blaming it all on you."

"Deal." We crossed to the corner of the room, Riku and Roxas following, and stopped at the best chairs. "You two can sit here, our treat." The two exchanged glances, then shrugged and took their designated seats.

Kairi took a seat across from them while I stood behind her, leaning over and crossing my arms over her chest. Riku raised a curious brow and Roxas was blushing. "We're not dating, if that's what you're thinking." Kairi said, yawning and placing her hands over mine. "That'd be just weird."

"Hey!" I whined, glaring down at the redhead. She looked up at me and grinned, giving that silly giggle of hers. I rolled my eyes and looked at Riku; he seemed unconvinced. "Really, it'd be like dating a close family member, 'cause she's like the sister that I never had."

"I know what you mean," Roxas said quietly, taking a sip of his steaming latté; kid had more nerve than me. "Naminé's like my sister as well."

"Naminé…" Kairi put a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "Oh! Naminé, that one girl who's obsessed with fraps. She's a real good drawer."

"She is." Riku agreed, snapping his cookie into five different pieces and handing them to us, saving the smallest for himself. "What do you two like to do?"

"Sora's a great runner." Kairi offered, crossing her lithe legs. I was on the track team all through high school, but it wasn't like I was the team star. Tidus was always better than me. "And I'm the next Dr. Phil slash Oprah."

"What about you?" I asked Riku, deciding it was best not to comment on how Kairi was the worst person to go to for advice – she was either too light-hearted or too melancholy to give it to people that she didn't really know. She was a great listener, sure, but not the person that you'd want answers from.

"I'm good with a gun." Riku said, popping the rest of his cookie in his mouth. I noticed Roxas giving him a warning glare, which he ignored coolly. "For hunting." He added, glancing at Roxas.

"I hate hunting." I frowned, taking a seat next to Riku. He shrugged, turning his head in my direction. "Do you at least _eat _them?"

Riku grimaced, looking at his feet. He didn't answer for a long time, and none of us made a single noise till he did. It was sort of like he demanded attention, even if there was no reason to give it to him. Finally, he lifted his head and looked back at me. "No, it's for the thrill of the kill."

I stared at him, eyes wide. Kairi looked at me worriedly, knowing that I was an active environmentalist, even though I wasn't close to being a vegetarian. If our digestive system has the capacity to eat meat, we might as well enjoy it. "That's…interesting." She commented, breaking the silence. "Why don't you play a hunting videogame instead?"

"It's not the same." Roxas said for him, nibbling vaguely on his cookie. Crumbs were falling on his lap, but he didn't seem to notice. "Those are computer generated…animals. It's just not the same."

"I see." Kairi responded emotionlessly. My fingers were digging into the chair's leather fabric, the rubbery sound blotting out their conversation. I didn't like the idea of ending another being's life myself; it made my stomach knot sickeningly.

Riku brought his wrist to face, eyes scanning the digital watch. "I think it's time we go, Roxas." He put the watch in the blonde's face, who nodded and shoved the other's arm away. The two stood, bringing their cups with them.

"It's been nice." Roxas said, his voice barely above a whisper. I had a feeling he was normally like that, nothing like the way I first saw him. He waved, leaving the building and making his way to a black car.

"It has." Riku slipped on a dark cloak similar to what his blonde friend was wearing. He pulled out a thin cell, pressing a few buttons before asking us our phone numbers. Kairi told him automatically while I fumbled with deciding whether to trust him or not, and remembering what my number was. Kairi was happy to tell him mine without needing to check her own phone.

"See you around, I guess." I said. Riku grinned and left, rushing after Roxas. I smiled when I watched him leave, his hair fluttering behind him. He was no longer a figure in the dark – I knew who he was, though I felt I still needed to know more. I needed to know everything about him, I just did.

"They're quite a pair."

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

I swear, the chapters will get longer and better. :D And I apologize for my very rusty Spanish.


	4. PsychoLOGY

**Forever Lullaby  
IV** PsychoLOGY  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language **  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**  
**000---000

"We depend on life's needs, its wants and craves, and without these, we shall fall. Blood flows through our veins, bringing us the life that causes us to thrive, survive, and live_."_ The professor recited, licking his finger before carefully turning the worn page. "Nothing opposes the internal instincts to survive in our lowly life form." He paused, placing the book down on his desk. "What are your opinions on this thesis?" I'd hardly call it a thesis, just an obvious statement.

Kairi, as usual, was the first person to raise her hand, and the only one to wave it around enthusiastically. Professor Squall looked up at her with hooded eyes, calling on another student. "That is true." The mouse haired girl said dully, shoving her thick glasses up the bridge of her pudgy nose. "But, we must take into account that we do not rely just on instincts. Our emotions prove a stronger pull than the need to survive."

"Yes." Squall nodded, opening the book and skimming its fading pages. He closed it again, looking to the students for more opinions. Even though he taught Psychology, he didn't seem to have any life opinions himself. "Kairi, do you need to use the restroom?"

"No!" Kairi snapped, folding her previously flailing arms across her chest. "I was about to say: if you and your friend were trapped in a place without any food resources, would you resort to eating your friend, or would you let yourself starve to death?"

I timidly raised my hand, breath catching when Squall nodded in my direction, his eyes distinctively cold, but they were always like that. "It depends on who you like more, yourself or your friend. It's generalizing to say that one person would choose their friend and the rest of the world would do the same."

"Maybe you went crazy in there, what would happen then?" The mouse haired girl retorted, frowning.

"Who said you would?" I looked over at her, brows creased. "Even if you did, who said your friend wasn't crazy? Maybe you'd both kill each other. You can't analyze this like people are animals."

"Even animals have a sense of loyalty, but what if _you _don't?" She glowered at me through her glasses, apparently not used to be argued with, which she probably wasn't. Even after being in this class for a day, I already noticed she was like the alpha female. No one dared to argue with her, except for Kairi, who was shot down as soon as she spoke.

"You're being a hypocrite." I said, "First you said that emotions rule over instincts, now you're saying the exact opposite."

"You yourself said we can't generalize this."

"Then is this topic even relevant? It's true that we cling to life, and that we fear death, but we also fear for the people we love. It can't be said what a person would most likely choose _unless _we did a survey, but even that data would be incorrect, since it would have to be taken by every living person, and that obviously _can't _be done." I took a deep breath, surprised at my own lecturing. There was silence, and I noticed for the first time that all the students' eyes were on me, either looking amused, impressed, or annoyed.

"If you feel that way…" Professor Squall tossed the book at his unorganized bookshelf. "Then this discussion is over." Soon after he said this, Kairi and the girl opened their mouths to object, but the bell signaling the end of class stopped them.

I put my books under my arm, walking with Kairi up to Squall, who was trying to clean up his desk for the next class. "Hey, Leon." I greeted.

"_Professor Squall_, Sora." He looked up at me, putting his hands on his hips. He looked almost hilarious with his uptight black suit, something he'd normally _never _wear.

"I thought you hated that name, '_Professor Squall." _Kairi sneered at him, adjusting the beige book bag to her other shoulder. We didn't have anymore classes for the rest of the day, and didn't intend on caring if that was the same for Leon or not.

"Yuffie insisted I call myself that." Leon sighed, flopping into his rolly chair. I want a rolly chair. "I prefer Professor Leonhart."

"So do I, but Yuffie's scary, so…" I stretched, leaning back and crossing arms behind my head. People tended to ask if I've ever fallen over in that position, and, as of late, I never have.

"Besides, when'd you decide to become Great Philosopher Sora?" A small smile graced Leon's lips – a rare sight.

"I've enjoyed months of enlightenment lately…so, of course, they were crushed by Kairi and her damn college offers." I groaned sadly, although I was glad we had loads of the same classes together, even with the classmen difference.

Before Kairi could make her brilliant retort, upperclassmen started filing in, giving us odd glances before filling in the seats. 'Professor Squall' waved us out of the classroom, starting up a discussion on mental diseases after we exited to the halls. We looked at him one last time and, making sure we were out of earshot, burst into hysterics.

"I…don't think anyone could ever make a suit look so stupid." Kairi leaned against a smooth wooden wall. "He usually looks hot and stuff, but...my God…Calvin Klein would have a fit."

I nodded, following after Kairi as she strode over to her dorm. The halls were rather nicely decorated, although all the beautiful paintings and portraits were most likely copies. Still, it was a pretty campus from what I saw of it.

Once we stepped into the dorm together, Kairi's roommate, Selphie, looked up from her yaio manga, blushing a little. "Hey you guys!" She greeted, her voice high and pitchy. I gave her a slight wave; afraid she'd tackle me and make me read her manga with her if I said anything. If you stay quiet, and not make any sudden movements, she shouldn't force you to do anything against your will. Usually.

I sat on the edge of Kairi's bed, on the other side of the two girls, and pulled out my cell, half expecting it to start ringing. It'd been a week since I last saw Riku and he still hadn't called me, even though he called Kairi a few days before to make plans with us and some of his friends. I fell backwards on the bed, head landing somewhere near Selphie. It was hard to tune out their giggles, but, once I did, it was hard to get the color silver out of my head. I tried to make up excuses for this, like how I always start thinking about people, boy or girl, I just met, but that didn't explain why I wasn't thinking about Roxas. I could hardly remember what he looked like, except for blue eyes that were eerily similar to my own.

"By the way, we're going to the movies tomorrow." I overheard Kairi tell Selphie, knowing the pause afterwards would be followed by a explanation of who we were going with, and then a fit of continuous giggles. "With these two _really _hot guys! I think one of them is interested in Sora." That last part I wasn't expecting, so I shot straight up, resulting in a severe headache that followed after smacking my head with Selphie's. Still, she gasped and giggled with Kairi, who was blindly groping at the bumps forming on our heads.

"What about me with _who _again?" I grumbled, hitting myself so I could look straight, but it only made my blurry vision worse.

"That Riku guy!" Kairi said, hurrying to the little fridge in the corner to get us some icepacks. "You should've seen the way he was looking at you!"

"I'm not queer!" I snipped, snatching the icepack from her hands. "Stop trying to pair me up with other guys!"

"Oh, please," Selphie said in that rich-snob kind of way, even if she was no where near to falling in that category. "Dear, you're as queer as they come."

"That's like calling the guy who plays James Bond queer!"

"…he is queer."

"THE OTHER ONE."

000---000

Needless to say, I refused to talk to Kairi and Selphie, less falling prey to letting them examine my 'queer-ness' by seeing how I reacted to makeout scenes in the manga. Instead, I lay in Selphie's bed, staring up at the ceiling. Multiple colors glowed on the dark walls, coming from the 'night show air freshener'. What happened to _normal _air fresheners? I didn't intend to spend the night here, but I preferred the cramped dorm over my even more cramped apartment.

I looked out the window, eyes drooping with exhaustion. I tried studying earlier, but Kairi and Selphie talking sort of made it impossible, even when I blasted my CD player as loud as possible, almost blowing out my hearing in the process. Instead of trying to compromise with my 'conditions', I gave up and let my aching bones rest, while I viewed the full moon and star studded sky. It was quieter now, with only the two girls' low whispers and sparse cars going by to interrupt the brooding silence. Even though you couldn't hear any parties going on, it was a common knowledge to know that there was at least one, even if you couldn't hear it. I had no intention to party this year, though I was envious of the ones having a great time while I did nothing but read fat text books. I had a theory that people who wrote these books failed at publishing their own books, so resorted to blandly talking about molecules, proper grammar usage, and complex algebraic figures. At least Psychology had a couple of interesting required reads.

"Sora, your phone's ringing." Kairi said, breaking my precious train of thought. I blinked, looking down at my pocket, and blushed at the muffled Fergalicious tone.

"Sora at your service." I recited after snapping open the warm phone. There was a short laugh on the other line, and I realized that it was Riku. I only said that to Kairi…and since she was the only person who called me, I never had any other greetings in mind.

"Oh, really?" He laughed, sounding far away. I could hear laughter in the background, and something like 'Axel at your service, got it memorized?'.

"Am I on speakerphone?" I asked accusingly, sitting up and glaring down at the phone, hoping that it would send a telepathic image to Riku. If it isn't too obvious to say, I can't afford a video phone.

"Maybe." He chided in a sing-song voice. 'Maybes' were echoed in the background, all of males sounding older and younger than him, and maybe one or two females. I couldn't tell.

"Alrighty," I said lightly, pressing a button on the side. It 'bleeped', a message needlessly announcing that Riku was on speakerphone proceeding. "Say hi to Riku."

"Hiiiii, Riku!" Kairi and Selphie hollered in highpitched voices. "We love you!"

"Who's the second one?" Riku asked, almost drowned out with a bunch of hoots and whistles.

"Selphie!" Said Selphie leapt from the other bed to mine, landing next to me and violently ripping the phone out of my hands. The glowing screen made her grin look maniacal. "I'm Selphie!"

"Hey, hey! Lemme talk Riku!" Another male said. A loud thud on the other line got me worried; two hyperactive people talking to each other never turned out very well. "You…eh…Sexy…NO...DON'T TELL ME. SELPHIE, right… Can I talk to Soda?"

"Sora!" I whined, taking the phone back from Selphie, who tried to take it back but was tackled by a determined looking Kairi. "Who's this?"

"Axel, A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

"…I don't remember names very well." "…Riku's been talking about you all week! I swear, he won't shut up. Soda this, Soda that!"

"SORA…and, wha-…?" Kairi was the one to take the phone away this time, her eyes bright and eager. I groaned, dreading whatever thing she'd say next, but, surprisingly, she said nothing.

"Ge…GE…GET OF…OFF…me…ROXAS, SAVE MEEEE!" Laughter and screams broke out, until I could heard someone's haggard breath blowing out of the speaker.

"…don't mind Axel, he's insane." Riku said, taking deep breaths between words. "Like I was saying, do we still have plans for tomorrow? And you can have any friends you like have tag along. I'm starting to regret ever inviting Axel."

"Yup," I replied, "And I regret letting Kairi invite Selphie."

"That's something we have in common, then."

"Insane friends? I'm inclined to agree." We both laughed that, falling into a comfortable silence. Kairi and Selphie held their breaths, both looking at each other with the sides of their lips tightening into smiles that would break into grins if they let them. I glowered at them in warning, which only made them fall over each other in a fit of giggles. I shook my head; girls were something I'd never understand.

I heard noises in the background, something that sounded like yelling, shouting, laughter, and worried nagging all blended into the same single word: SHUT UP! I assumed this was by Roxas, who blathered a rushed goodbye into the phone, then CALL ENDED flashed across the screen.

"Movies tomorrow!" Kairi exclaimed, unfazed by the abrupt departure.

"What're we seeing?" Selphie inquired, pulling her feet together and rocking back and forth.

"Either Epic Movie or The Messengers."

"How about Brokeback Mountain!"

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

…I…felt like loading this with overbearing pop culture references, but, anyway, enough about me. More about you! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/faved/alerted! Makes me feel like writing and updating a lot…obsessively…


	5. Vanilla

**Forever Lullaby  
V** Vanilla  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language**  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
Tido © Pretty Rainbow  
**  
**000---000

Day awakens, the sky blooms into color; pastel colors of the rising sun melting with the leftover darkness, soon to be depleted by bright morning sunlight. The light filters through smudged windowpanes, casting murky shadows in the corners of my apartment.

My eyes flutter open, narrowing against the sunshine. I groan inwardly, remembering it was the weekend…and it was noon. I shouldn't be up for at least another two hours. That was before I vaguely heard Fergalicious playing in the background, spelling out T-A-S-T-E-E. I made sure that Riku had his own ringtone to distinguish from other callers, and, since that was the only ringtone I had, I gave Kairi a crappydefault.

"Damn, Riku…you sure are an early riser." I mumble into the phone, barely audioable, but he was lucky that I wasn't speaking in the gibberish; I normally did when woken up too early.

"_Early_?" Someone else was laughing on the other line, someone that I didn't immediately recognize. "It's noon, lunch time. 43,200 seconds to midnight." Oh, right, Roxas.

"43,200 seconds." I repeated wearily, sitting up in bed, the covers sliding to my hips. I glanced at the neon clock, teetering precariously off the bedside table. "It's twelve-oh-five…don't you mean _42,900_?"

"It's from a book." Roxas said. His voice was tainted with annoyance. Note to self: Roxas equals anger, and unstupidity equals unanger. "Anyway, Riku was wondering if you could have lunch with him at Panda Express."

"Why didn't he just call me himself?"

"He's a little preoccupied at the moment." I didn't want to know what he meant by '_preoccupied_'.

"Lemme get ready real quick and we can meet there." I wanted to ask if this was a date or not, but I don't think lunch dates are considered to be romantic. Then again, why was I even thinking that? Riku looked pretty straight to me, regardless what Kairi and Selphie said.

"By the way, I'm not tagging along." I also wanted to ask Roxas why he thought I cared.

000---000

I checked the menu for the umpteenth time, gnawing on my lip to bide the time. I was starting to wonder if this was all a set up, a weird reality show. Or that could've been another excuse I made up for Riku being late. What did I expect? I barely knew this guy, and yet I was getting nervous about him being a couple of minutes late for a hangout date. I huffed, headpalming myself albeit before turning my attention to a cuddling couple, sitting in the corner of the unauthentic oriental fast food place. I felt a fist clutched at my heart when they leaned in to kiss, and I quickly looked away, not wanting them to think that I was some brownnosing creep.

I crossed my arms over the table, resting my chin on the dip in my wrist. In my ear, I could've sworn I heard haggard breathing, then something moist touching my neck. I leapt backwards, head connecting with something hard. Someone groaned behind me, and I spun backgrounds in the chair, about to ready to attack whoever that someone was. I caught a glimpse of silver, then a whiff of cinnamon, before they sat across from me, rubbing their head. Riku.

"Hey," Riku greeted a bit grudgingly, rubbing an icecube over his swelling forehead. I figured that was what the moist thing was.

I wanted to say: WHAT YOU TOOK YOU SO LONG? But, instead, settled for, "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much, you?"

"Same." I – not purposely, of course – looked at his bright eyes, noticing dark circles lining them. "You look tired." I bit my tongue, knowing that I said something wrong the moment it slipped. Was I supposed to comment (_negatively_) on my (_hangout_) date's looks? Was he even my _date_? Riku didn't seem to mind, though.

"Very…" His tone was hiding something, but I didn't press for details. "You don't look too awake, either."

"We should stop by Starbucks later."

"Isn't that a girl thing?" He grinned, standing up and ambling to the line of crying children, gushing girls, and shoving guys. He didn't bother to check and see if I followed, but I trailed after him anyways.

"There's loads of guys who go to Starbucks."

"Gay ones."

"Are you homophobic?" Another too blunt comment I let slip, and another calm look from Riku.

"There's old guys too." Riku made a face.

"Homophobic _and _oldophobic."

"Maybe oldophobic – I don't like the way old people smell – but not homophobic." As he said this, his hand brushed mine, reaching to a red tray and placing it next to the others, all owned by obnoxiously loud people. They didn't matter to me now, I was trying to figure out if he'd touched me on accident or not.

"My grandma smells good." I say, ordering orange chicken and steamed rice, nothing else. The cashier looks at me strangely, then whispers to her friend in Korean before asking me if I was sure I didn't want anything else. I ordered Green Tea so she would leave me be, though I could still feel her eyes on me when we sit back at our table, lucky enough to beat the rush.

"What does she smell like?"

"Like vanilla, and something else…kind of like that old attic smell…musky, but in a good way, like her scent holds all these cool old memories." I watch Riku take a sip of his coke, eyes peaking through his bangs. "What does your grandma smell like?"

"I never knew my grandma." Riku's grip tightened on his cup, droplets of moisture dribbling down his hand. "Or my mom, or my dad. Or anyone in my family."

"I'm sorry…" I didn't know what else to say.

"It's not your fault." Riku smiled tightly, like it really _was _my fault. An uncomfortable feeling settled in my gut. He took a deep, shaky breath, continuing with a fluency that made it seem like the rift had never been there, "What movie are we going to see?"

"The Messengers, I think. Maybe Epic Movie, or both." I didn't mention Brokeback Mountain, which I rejected a thousand times over, even with Selphie begging me every five seconds. Kairi wasn't up for the idea; she insisted we see something playing in theaters.

"Sounds fun."

000---000

When we stepped into the Starbucks, it was surprisingly empty, and it was hardly ever empty during the day. Everyone must've flocked to fast food places and restaurants for a late lunch. I waved to a bunch of my enthusiastic coworkers. I would need to ask them to switch shifts.

"Oh, who's _this_?" One of them commented, flashing a smile, and a tongue smothered with at least fifty metallic studs. A shaven and pierced red eyebrow rose in Riku's direction.

"Ah, Tido, stop messing with the customers." Yuffie whined, lacing her arms over his shoulders.

"Only _one _of them is a true customer." Tido corrected, shrugging Yuffie off of him. Even a manwhore like him couldn't stand her presence for too long. He pushed back a lock of long and slick crimson hair from his eyes, looking over at Riku one last time before manning the counter. "Ah, whadd'ya want this time, Sora?"

"Usual cheap stuff."

"Only the best." Tido jeered while Yuffie made my mandatory latté, adding a (unpaid for) flavor or two for kicks. Kairi taught her well. "What about your boyfriend over here?" Heat rushed to my cheeks and, before I could protest, Riku ordered his black coffee. Tido made it without question, grinning ear to ear with the feigned prospect that he, the great Gay Guru, had bent another straight guy into a homo.

We, being Riku and me, sat down on the loveseat, placing our feet on the coffee table. I was still blushing, and hoping that he didn't noticed, but by the amused expression on his face, it was apparent that he did.

"Why'd you lead Tido on like that?!" I burst out, glaring daggers at Riku.

"I wanted to see him smile again." He said matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. If it was, I wasn't very attentive.

"Whaaaat?" I groaned, exasperatedly running a hand through my tousled hair.

"His tongue rings are cool." He awkwardly patted my shoulder. I think he was either trying to break it, or possibly comfort me. "I want to see him smile again."

"And how do you plan to do that?" I continued glared over – up – at him, fearing the delighted twinkle in his eyes, and the dubious smile twitching on his lips. I lost my voice for a second, but just as easily caught it, "Publicly humiliate me again?"

"Something like that."

000---000  
_…to be continued…_


	6. Cinnamon

**Forever Lullaby  
VI** Cinnamon  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language**  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
Tido © Pretty Rainbow  
**A/N **In case any of you were wondering, I took down The Chapter That Never Was because, frankly, the chapter numbers were confusing…if anyone knows how to read roman numerals. So yeah, it was annoying me, which is rather abnormal, since I have a surprisingly high tolerance for annoying things. Sorta.

000---000

You know what _really _ticks me off? It's when people invade my bubble, getting all uppity in _my _personal space. That's why it shocked me when I didn't jump up and run when Riku leaned over, easily shattering my bubble. I was frozen to the marrow, the familiar scent of cinnamon wafting over my senses, leaving me utterly paralyzed.

_"Something like that."_

"Riku…" It came out as a whimper, as if I was some hopeless pup. He smiled, but I didn't _see_ it, I _felt _it. His lips brushed against mine, and I could feel my heart jump considerably high. I swear I saw my life flash behind my eyes. I never planned on dying of a heart attack initiated from a kiss, especially one from the same sex.

Then it stopped as quickly as it came – Riku pulled away, but I could feel his minty breath wash over my face, refreshing and calming. And then it hit me, the wrongness of it all, and the appreciative clapping coming from, no doubt, Tido. What was there to _clap _about? I'd just been molested by another guy! But why didn't I _stop_ the kiss? Riku left me every option to do so, even with his mildly intoxicating aroma.

"Here's your orders, _love birds_." Tido shoved steaming cups at us and walked off positively beaming.

"He smiled." Riku licked his lips, and I involuntarily shivered. "I wonder how long he couldn't eat…"

"Wha…?" I was in a daze, not even noticing that the latte was running down my chin.

"I don't think you can eat for a certain amount of time after getting your tongue pierced." Riku brought his lips to the rim of his cup, smacking them after taking a sip. I ran the tip of my tongue along mine, a flavor of salt and soy sauce lingering on them. It tasted good.

"The hell…" I found myself growling, though I was unconsciously frolicking in la-la land, "is wrong with you?"

"Everything." He replied playfully, placing his cup on the table. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, I don't know, kissing me!"

"Still not catching on. It takes a while for caffeine to kick in for me." He gave me a funny look, as if he really didn't see what the problem was. I didn't care if he was exhausted or not; it was _obvious _what was wrong with the situation. It just wasn't morally acceptable.

"Forget it."

"It wasn't your first kiss or anything, was it? I guess I can sympathize."

"No!"

"Then what is it?"

"Just drop it!"

"Alright."

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!" I glowered at Riku, waiting for his retort. None came. Just that smirk that I wanted so badly to wipe off his face, but smacking him would only confirm his inward thoughts on my orientation. I wasn't even confirmed on his, because I didn't understand Riku_ at all_. First he was straight, then he was homosexual, and now I was starting to believe he was bisexual.

"So _you're _the one who's homophobic, and after accusing _me_…" Riku said, his tone faking hopelessness. I scowled.

"I'm _not _homophobic, but I'm also _not _homosexual."

"Oh, yeah, 'cause you were surely kicking and screaming when I kissed you."

"More like molested me."

"Look, let's test you."

"_Test _me?" I continued to glare at him, but he'd caught my attention. "How in the world do we test me?"

"If you can resist me at the movies tonight, you're straight. If you can't…you're either homosexual or bisexual."

"What makes you think I find you the least bit attractive?"

"Like I said, you weren't exactly kicking and screaming."

"You surprised me, that's all."

"Right, and you surprised me by not being able to resist me."

"Good."

"Sora?"

"What?"

"That wasn't a compliment."

000---000


	7. Cry

**Forever Lullaby  
VII** Cry  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language **  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **_SO_ sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been sick and sort of depressed lately, and suffering from a horrible writer's block. And I also apologize if this chapter really isn't up to par.  
**  
**000---000

"So he _kissed _you?" Kairi was grinning ear to ear, though I expected nothing less. I continued rummaging through my closet, barely taking a look at an article of clothing before deciding it was too gay and throwing it over my shoulder. Heat rushed to my cheeks at this reminder, but it was my fault for telling her in the first place. "I_ knew_it!"

"Yes," I stumbled out of the closet and sat next to Kairi, the bed squealing in protest. Kairi leaned against my poster smothered wall, smiling up at me in a diabolic-planning-way.

"And you have to be _tested _if you're gay?" Kairi placed her pinky on the side of her mouth, much resembling Dr. Evil. The moonlight played on her skin, making her look pale, but exceptionally pretty. If I thought a girl was pretty, then that meant I was straight, right?...but Riku's pretty. "That's really obvious and all, but I'd like to see what he'll do."

"I don't _want _to know." After the little incident in Starbucks, I avoided the subject carefully, though Kairi easily picked up that I was bothered by something. So, being the damn sensitive person that I am, I gushed out everything that'd happened in one, long breath. Now, she relentlessly guessed what particularly sultry things Riku was sure to do to me, especially ones that would get us all kicked out.

"…and then he'll lick you right where it–"

"KAIRI!"

"What?"

"STOP IT." I huffed, pushing myself off the bed and storming to the closet. "I've got no good clothes!" I almost screamed, yanking the hangers along the bar, ignoring the screeching sound that was sure to make me deaf.

"That's why…" Kairi yanked me beside her again and pulled out her book bag, "I brought these!" She pulled out a bunch of dark clothing and displayed them out on my bed. "Try them on."

I stepped into the bathroom with a funeral tune playing in my head, or it could've been Kairi; either one drives me insane. I stripped off my shirt, ignoring the mirror vain – in my eyes, I wasn't anywhere near eye candy, but Kairi insisted that I was, and that it was weird for a boy to judge himself like that.

Shaking my head, I continued with the abnormally strenuous process of stripping out of my loose, comfy clothing into skin-tight, extremely uncomfortable leather. I never liked leather, either from innocent cows being murdered for fashion purposes or from the no breathing room factor, and these pair of pants only added towards my growing dislike of leather. I let out a harsh breath after buttoning – my fingers aching afterwards. With the pants barely fitting over the slight tub of my stomach, I took notice of the irritatingly itchy hem. I'd get Kairi back for this, _especially _for the pinching in the butt.

"How're ya' doing?" Said Kairi called through the door, and I had the sudden urge to slam it on her face. It'd be a nice wake up call to 'Miss Stylist'.

"Horrible, bad, miserable, anything that is a synonym with: I REFUSE TO WEAR THESE." I could hear Kairi groan on the other side, saying something about how whiny I was. The doorknob turned – I swear I locked it – and she wrenched me out of the room, tugging me by the wrist to my closet and opening the door. She grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to look into the mirror. "…I don't like it." I said miserably, moaning and turning away.

"You _don't_?" Kairi pouted, "But you look so…so…SO HOT."

"I guess hot's definition was _once again_ warped by our society." Ah, so I was being a bit dramatic, but it wasn't like Kairi understood what I meant.

"No idea what you mean, but you seriously look great!" Kairi turned me around again, "Dude, I think Riku won't be able to _resist _you."

"Great, just what I wanted." I turned my eyes away from the mirror, and since it was rather smudged, I don't think I would've been able to completely see my reflection either way. Kairi pounded on my shoulders, giving a defeated sob. She was always a great fake crier, and by the way her shoulders were shaking, she almost convinced me. I gave in. "Alright, alright. I'll give it a look." I let my eyes skim over my blurry figure, taking in the black attire for the first time….I didn't look half bad…a little bit like a wannabe rocker dude, but not half bad. "Fine, I'll wear it, but if Riku jumps me…I'm blaming you!"

"Hey, hey! You'll have to blame your parents for giving you those sexy genes!" Kairi grinned and lifted her head – no traces of tears. Why wasn't I surprised? She crossed my room, almost skipping, and sat on my bed, patting the spot next to her. I frowned and followed her, hoping this wouldn't be another one of her Dr. Phil slash Opera talks. Unfortunately, it was. "Sora, I have something very important to tell you."

"Whaaaaat? I plopped next to her, jumping a little when she laid her head on my shoulder.

"I am your father." She grinned up at me, something she did very often. I was used to it; the first time we met, she was grinning like I was her knight in shining armor, which I sort of was, because I'd punched Tidus for teasing her. It was in kindergarten and I was big for my age, but that never really caught on with my middle school days. Or my high school days. Or any other days of my life.

"I would say 'NOOOOO' very dramatically, but I actually wouldn't mind that." I put my head on hers, feeling conformability spread through my chest, although I couldn't really breathe with the constricting shirt.

"Aw, Sora." Kairi said sympathetically, closing her eyes. Her smile drooped a little, but only a little. "You can't completely hate your pa."

"I do." I closed my eyes as well. Scarce memories of my parents crossed my mind, and with no reality to block them out, I felt my stomach clench painfully. They weren't all bad memories, not all the old ones, but the fresh ones stuck, and those were the ones I hated.

"Sora, Sora, our poor little emo kid." Kairi tched-tched. Sometimes I wanted someone who I could talk to seriously, but, then again, I'd probably be in some emotional rut. I glanced at the time, groaning at the long wait. An hour to go, with nothing to do but sit there and talk.

000---000

MTV solves lots of problems – dating slip ups, music video needs, and the fantasy of unrealistic views on humanity that all teens crave. Also, it's a great way to pass time, and, once I took a periodic check on my watch, I found that an hour had passed by without a word slipping from either of our mouths.

"Riku should be here any minute." With that said, I leaned over and pressed the power button. The TV snapped off, the horizontal line proceeding etched in my eyes.

"Yup!" Kairi brushed past me with her purse with a teasing smile. "We coulda just drove there, but your dateoffered to pick us up!"

"Do you _always _have to state the obvious?" I briskly exited the cramped apartment and leaned against the bricked wall. Couples passed by us, merrily laughing like they were the only ones there.

"About Riku being your date or how he's picking you up?" Kairi stood next to me, her arms casually folded. I shrugged, looking down the road for the car we saw at Starbucks. I couldn't be completely sure that it was Riku's, but I was becoming a little anxious. Riku seemed to have a thing for being 'fashionably' late. It only confirmed my suspicions that he was homosexual. I wanted to believe he wasn't, even if he _had _kissed me, but I was admittedly drowning in denial. I would rather just be friends, no matter how attractive he was. I always believed myself to be straight, and then suddenly he steps in and completely messes with my views in life. It didn't make sense to me that a person I hardly knew could do that; Kairi couldn't even do it and she'd been my friend forever.

I suddenly noticed that my heart was at a rate that was anything but healthy. I took a deep, steady breath, closing my eyes to calm my nerves. Just as my heart rate decreased, the familiar sound of a revved engine blasted through my brief tranquility. As I'd expected, the same midnight black car from Starbucks was parked in front of us, honking a tune that sounds like something from Marry Poppins. Riku sat in the driver's seat and Roxas, to my total surprise, was sitting in the back with an I-don't-want-to-be-here-look written all over his face. A crazy haired guy with tattooed tear drops sat next to him, his arm snaking around his shoulders before it was brutally punched.

Riku leaned over and opened the driver's seat door, motioning for me to come in. I glanced at Kairi, who gave me a wink before sitting next to Roxas. I looked back at Riku's earnest face, feeling my throat tighten. I crossed the threshold of fate – although it was really a murky puddle – and slid next to Riku, who grinned at me with satisfaction. I offered him a smile that probably resembled something like 'get the hell away from me', but it really wasn't.

"Are you always this late?" I asked rather feverishly, letting out a squeak at the _VROOM_.

"Woops. Forgot to put it in drive." Riku clasped the shift, pulling it back a notch. I looked away, willing myself not to roll my eyes, though I could see Kairi and Axel snickering through the driver's mirror, and Roxas smiling. Actually _smiling_. From then on, I knew this would be a strange night.

"I thought you wouldn't come." I watched the shining gravel roll under us as we pulled out, then disappeared when we whisked forward. Something crunched under our tire, and when I looked back to see what it was, a half cracked smiling face of a garden gnome grinned at us.

"Were you that worried about me?" Riku asked, glancing at me just in time to almost ram into a tree. "I'm starting to worry now." I mouthed a 'sorry' at a driver Riku had abruptly pulled in front of. He flipped me off. "You're a horrible driver."

"You're _starting_ to sound like Roxas." Riku gestured at the blonde, who scowled. "I'll pull over if you want to drive." I looked around the freeway, and, seeing that the only way he could pull over would kill us, said a quick 'no thanks.'

Silence. The wheels rolled over the road in a rubbery kind of rhythmic tune, but that was the only thing that followed, other than Axel muttering something to Roxas and receiving a halfhearted punch. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, watching the traffic slowly dwindle away, leaving only the lights of passing streetlamps.

"Cool get up, by the way." Riku said, glancing down at me, which isn't much of a feat for someone at least two feet taller than you. "I didn't notice it before."

"I'd rather you didn't…" I replied vaguely, continuing to stare out the window.

"If I knew we were supposed to get all dressed up, I would've too." Riku gestured at the same cloak I'd seen him in at Starbucks. He didn't look bad in the taught material either. I bit down on my inner cheek after realizing I'd been staring at him a little too long.

"Oh yeah!" Kairi shouted, and I silently thanked her for distracting the guy, who seemed to notice the blush spreading over my cheeks. "Epic Movie and The Messangers are all sold out. In fact, _everything's_ sold out, except for one movie."

"And what would that be?" Roxas asked in the most unenthusiastic voice I'd ever heard. I swear, he sounded like her answer would be his doom.

"Bridge To Terabithia" Kairi replied swiftly, smiling at all of our smug reactions. "It's not a kid's movie! At least, that's what I heard. Death and everything like that."

"But it's a _Disney _movie." I said, scowling. I never liked Disney, the singing scarred me for life.

"Disney's a bitch. I tried giving them a screenplay and they said no. A month later, it was out in theaters!" Axel said enthusiastically, the first time I'd heard him speak more than a couple of words, and also the first time that I realized his polar opposite personality to Roxas's. "Good thing they screwed up half of the script and only about four people actually went to see it."

"What was it about?" I asked, noticing Roxas rolling his eyes.

"A gay couple living through life." Axel shrugged his shoulders, taking up the weird habit of examining his fingernails. I always thought it was weird, anyway.

"And you gave this to _Disney_?" Kairi hit the other redhead over the head, her expression bemused. "Why did you give it to _Disney_?"

"Well, they said no because of it…and then turned it into a straight couple…in high school…and made all the trials they went through based on that the guy was a nerd and the girl was a super popular cheerleader."

"Sounds like high school to me." Riku said, looking over at me. "What was it like for you, Sora?"

"Like hell."

"Why's that?"

"Everyone thought I was gay."

"Same here."

000---000

We pulled into the packed theater parking lot a few minutes later, just lucky enough to take the last parking space before a van twice our size could take it. I let out a breath, feeling the same nerves that I always did before viewing a movie. I'm not sure why I always felt that way, but now it was even worse with Riku sitting beside me, turning his keys out of the car. He unlocked the doors and stepped out, and so did the others. I pulled myself sluggishly onto the pavement, closing the doors deliberately slow. Riku raised an amused eyebrow before hooking his arm in mine. I tried my best to ignore it, though I didn't bother to pull away. He smelled like cinnamon again, and it was a refreshing scent.

The three guys bought me and Kairi the tickets, although we had to pay for own snacks. Riku decided to share popcorn with me, and, following Riku's example, Axel offered to share some with Roxas, who declined in an instant. Kairi agreed to sit in between the two males and hold a big bowl of popcorn so the three of them could share. Roxas agreed.

The theater was packed, with only two seats available near the very top and three near the very bottom. I cursed fate as Kairi, Axel, and Roxas left me and Riku alone. I bit back a groan when he gestured gallantly to my seat, sitting in front of a tall man, which I silently thanked him for. At lease he could see over the shiny bald head.

Riku placed the popcorn on my lap, making sure to take a handful for himself, though it was with the hand furthest from me. I took a handful with the hand closest to him, making sure it was the greasiest kernels in the bunch.

"Do you have any studying to do tonight?" Riku inquired as he took a sip of his soda. He placed it in the armrest opposite of us, his other hand taking resting on the armrest in the middle. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, which were almost too tight to do so.

"Not tonight, no. I might get some done tomorrow." I stared up at the local ads, recognizing a Starbucks picture with Kairi sneaking herself some coffee, though I'm sure most people would think that since there was no one in the café, there must've been someone at the driveway.

"Not very proactive, are you?" Riku said playfully. "I imagine your apartment is a mess."

"Keep imagining, because you're never going to see it." I said a little harsher than I meant to, but I was still a bit bitter about the PDA embarrassment. I didn't like to act like that around anyone, but I'd been becoming a lot touchier lately, and I mean in the emotional way.

"Is that a challenge?" Riku snorted. I finally looked up at him, noticing a glint in his silver obscured eyes. He smiled at me, his nose wrinkling slightly. "I really do love a good challenge, unless you're just playing hard to get. That would be boring."

"Hardly." My hands constricted against my thighs, causing the pants to pinch my butt even more. I turned my nose to the screen, ignoring the delighted look written over Riku's features. For such a 'mysterious man', as Kairi called him, he was being completely obvious to his intentions.

The lights gradually began to dim, the muffled talking and quiet laughs following with them. I swallowed, praying that Riku would just look at the screen instead of me. God must've forgiven me for feeling a very, very slight attraction for another male – Riku looked away.

000---000

Fifteen minutes into the movie, and I felt boredom eating at my chest. It was interesting with some great acting, considering the actors' ages, but just barely bordering the storyline's plot. The night felt as if it was just bordering its on plot, though coming around at it at a very slow pace. It wasn't as if I was complaining or anything, I was glad, amazingly glad, that Riku hadn't done anything. Yet.

I reached for another handful of popcorn – most of it was gone by now – and felt soft skin that could only by discerned as Riku's touch mine. Barely, but the touch didn't leave. In fact, it began to sneak against my own hand at a horribly slow pace, as though I'd bite if he held it. I rolled my eyes and intertwined our fingers like a pro. Riku cocked his head at me for the first time that night, though I pretended not to notice. Oh, yes, I've held hands with many, many women before, most of those times being with my mother.

Later in the movie, I began to notice the molding of reality andTerabithia, and I was starting to catch on with the embedded moral lessons. As I was really beginning to immerse myself into the character's somewhat diverse emotions, I noticed my hand was prickling painfully. I looked down at it, also just noticing Riku's thumb lightly brushing over it. It was a vain effort; my hand had fallen asleep quite awhile ago.

I reached with my other hand to take some of the very few pieces of popcorn, and Riku moved at a pace faster than lightning itself. I blinked, feeling my other hand being held before my eyelids touched, and once they were open, paralyzing bright eyes stared into them, gleaming with an idiotic dubiousness. I tilted my head almost instinctively to the side, barely able to grasp the concept that Riku must've been just waiting for me to take a grab at the popcorn, which was the only reason he left some left for me. Moving my head to the side was, naturally, a huge mistake; I figured Riku took it as a sign to do the same, allowing his lips to brush against mine at their fullest.

I jumped backwards in my seat, but found large arms acting as a warm blockade, pulling me closer to Riku as I shoved against him, trying to find a way out of his trap. He smiled at me, his eyebrows knitted in a curious expression. He'd expected me to just melt into his arms, right then and there. It was a close guess, with his lithe features staring at me right on, as well as silken hair brushing against my cheeks – not to mention a spicy aroma – it was all I could do to swoon up against him. And I repeat, these were signs that I only had a _very, very slight _attraction to another male. If I had more of an attraction, my eyes would've trailed from his striking eyes to his even more striking physic – something between a swimmer and soccer player; muscular, but still sleek. But I didn't actually know about these things; Kairi told me. She was the only one who checked him out like that, and it was perfectly reasonable that she could! She wasn't a perfectly straight guy such as myself.

When Riku leaned in – spearmint gum lingered in his husky breath – I was starting to wonder about that last statement. I froze at the thought, completely immovable until tugged at my clasped hands, pulling that and me to his chest. I held my breath, stuffing my face into his chest. I didn't even want to look at him; his pure self was enough to say me being vulnerable is an understatement.

"You're so cute," He whispered, lips just brushing my earlobe. "but I thought this would be a challenge."

"Get off me, then!" It came out more like: geruffmleeeeeden!, but Riku got the gist of it. He let out an airy, sort of disappointed laugh and pulled away, lightly pushing me fully back in the seat. "Thanks." I said gruffly, trying in vain to fix my tousled hair. Riku reached over and combed his hands through it, lightly massaging my scalp. I felt a shiver and a blush run through my skin.

"I can give you a massage sometime." Riku suggested, his hand returning to mine. I stiffened, but I didn't want to give him reason to change his mind.

"As long as it's not…everywhere." I returned my eyes back to the screen, raising an eyebrow in confusion. At one point, they had been at a school, not an art museum. I blamed Riku for distracting me.

"I can't promise that." Riku began rubbing his thumb against my skin again, though I could feel it this time. His touch was warm and gentle, nothing like what he seemed to be. He paused; a question unasked hovered in the air, waiting for one of us to grab it. With some hesitation, he did so, "Do I scare you away?" "Huh?" I turned rolled my head against the scratchy seat and up at Riku. He was watching the movie intently, though distractedly.

"Nevermind." He reached over and turned my face towards the movie. I stared at him a moment before doing so. The characters were crying, yelling about something. I felt dread pick at my chest, though it was more or less only triggered by the scene.

A pause, then, 'You're friend, she's dead.' I bit my lip, immediately knowing who they were talking about. It was rather depressing, I liked the character, and, all at once, a choked sobbed emitted from almost every person in the audience. I felt one building in my throat, but I refused to let it out, especially since Riku was impassive through the whole scene. I glanced up at him, and, for a moment, a smile twisted across his face, then faded as quickly as it had come.

The rest of the movie hadn't improved, any happy moments squeezed out like water from a washcloth. I could still feel the tears start up at my eyes – they were hard to help, I hated death. It made me want to cry all the time, even if it was happening half way across the world. By the end of the movie, the bittersweet ending bit down at my chest, the pressure almost unbearable.

"You're allowed to cry, Sora."

000---000  
_...to be continued..._

This was more or less a long filler chapter than anything, but I also want to develop Riku and Sora's relationship before delving right into it...

I AM A REVIEW VAMPIRE. ANDAND. I SURVIVE ON REVIEWS. SO, LIKE, REVIEW. : D


	8. UNlucky

**Forever Lullaby  
VIII **UNlucky  
**Chapter Rating **T mild language & sexual & controversial references **  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **Thanks to you all for your kind reviews:3! And, after reading the last chapter over, there were a ton of typos. Uh…proofreading's against my religion…?

000---000

December 10th, only ten days away from Christmas break. I reached up and marked the day off with a red marker, falling back on my bed afterwards. I hadn't even made plans yet, though Kairi mentioned going to Twilight Town to visit her family, since mine would be vacationing in Hawaii, without inviting me, as usual. I had 'too much studying to do to waste my time surfing'. I don't even _surf_. But, anyway, Twilight Town's criminal rate had jumped drastically during the years, and even though it was mainly in the ghettos, I felt an eerie feeling every time I visited the place. It always had an orange tinge in the air, like it was on fire, then would morph into a frozen darkness once you passed a creepy abandoned mansion.

Kairi was on my computer, researching a psychology essay we were assigned two weeks ago. Since we didn't have classes till after lunch, and being the abnormally fast typer that she was, she'd probably be done by then. She couldn't afford wireless – it was one of the things my parents offered – so it was an excuse to pester me in the morning.

"So he _didn't _kiss you?" Kairi asked, her eyes still glued to the computer screen. I groaned, rolling over and stuffing my head into the pillow. I grumbled a muffled 'no', hearing Kairi sigh in devastation. "I thought he was supposed to try and seduce you! UGH."

"You still won't tell me what happened on the way home." I pushed myself into a cross-legged position, narrowing my eyes in suspicion. I'd picked up Kairi the night before and brought her to my apartment, so she didn't have a ride home. I was going to give her a ride without complaint, I swear, but she insisted on Riku taking her home, and she was all very happy to comply. Being already distrustful about him, I upright refused, getting a rant about how overprotective I am of her from Kairi. Eventually, I caved in, making her promise to call me once she got home. She did, but wouldn't tell me anything about the car ride. I was starting to worry they raped her or something. I don't think they were the type to do that, especially not Roxas, but I didn't know them well enough to completely trust them.

"I'm sworn to secrecy." Kairi printed something out, with the copyright and link spread over the paper, so I didn't bug her about plagiarism. "But nothing bad happened, so don't worry about it." "I need details!" I leaned against the wall, bringing my knees to my chest. She huffed a sigh and dragged herself to my bed, laying down next to me. She crossed her hands over her midsection, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. A thought provoked expression overcame her face before she eventually met my gaze.

"Fine, but _don't mention anything_."

"Cross my heart."

"If you do, I'll make that literal." Kairi pushed herself up against the wall, turning her head to look up at me very seriously. "Axel…he…sort of kissed Roxas."

"…and?" I couldn't figure why she'd be so serious about something like that. You would've thought she's be celebrating. Besides, it was a kiss between two people we hardly knew. Big deal.

"_And_ Roxas went all psychopathic on him – he gave him a bloody nose!" Kairi punched herself in the nose to show her meaning, but not hard enough to actually give herself a nose bleed. "And then he leapt all gazelle like next to Riku. I thought he was going to shit himself!"

"Ouch…that has to be the worst rejection ever." I winced, remembering the grossed out 'EW! NO WAY, FAG!' a girl had once given me when I asked her out. At least she hadn't punched me.

"If there was a world record for the worst rejection ever, that would win it." Kairi bit her lip, looking up at the ceiling like she was about to cry. "You should've seen Axel…he looked so…" She trailed off, wiping her eyes.

"Dejected?" I closed my eyes – Riku looked sort of like that when I pushed him away…

"Yeah…but worse." She paused, hand winding around mine. It wasn't like how Riku had held it; her fingers didn't fold with mine, and her grip was loose…comforting more than anything. Maybe she wanted to comfort Axel...and maybe her Dr. Phil slash Opera career goal wasn't such a bad idea after all. She was so sympathetic for the guy, it was heart warming. "It was the definition of heart break."

"What did you do?" The question of what Riku had done was on the tip of my tongue, but I reluctantly let it slide.

"Nothing…" Her hand tightened around mine, the feeling of regret flowing through my veins. "I didn't know what to do. But when Riku dropped me off, he was looking at Roxas kind of funny." For a moment, I could've sworn she just read my mind. Maybe our connection was that strong, I was starting to wish I felt that way with Riku. His shadowy character made it nearly impossible to read his emotions, but that also increased my curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat.

"What're you doing for lunch?" I asked, eager to change the topic.

"Uhmmm…left over Chinese food most likely. What about you?" She pulled out her bright green purse, shifting through her wallet for some money. The only thing either of us knew how to cook was ramen.

"I know this one really great Mexi–"

"Say no more!"

"Great, then it's a date." _Lunch date_.

000---000

"Waiter-r! Oh, WAITER!...GET OVER HERE, GOD DAMNIT!"

"Did Selphie _really _have to come?" I lifted a laminated menu over my head, which wasn't much protection from the glares we were receiving.

"Oh, c'mon. She missed out on the movies." Kairi flipped off an old lady in the corner who hadn't bothered to stop glaring at us. Her wrinkled mouth dropped open, then she pursed her lips, turning back to her untouched food and shaking her shoulders pompously.

"For that jerk." Selphie said, ignoring the huffing and puffing waiter. "He sleeps with me, and _then _decides to tell me he's married!"

"Uh, Miss…" The waiter, held his shaky pen to the equally shaky notepad.

"I'm still talking, _Senor_." Selphie, still not looking at him, hadn't noticed that he was strikingly pale and blonde, meaning he probably only knew bits and pieces of Spanish.

"Well, _Senorita_, we have a packed house today…I need your order." His blue eyes burned holes into the back of her flippy-haired head.

"Could you just…" Once Selphie turned around, her eyes brightened incredibly. "I'm terribly sorry! I didn't realize…"

"Please…just order."

"Yes, yes. I'll have the taco salad with everything low fat, and they'll have the Mega Enchilada." Selphie blinked 'sexily' while the waiter took the menus, shaking his head as he walked away.

"You do realize the taco salad is _huge_, right?" Kairi folded her hands on the table, staring at Selphie who, unfortunately, was sitting next to me. "And your in a Mexican restruaant, the term low fat does not exist here."

"I'm on a diet." Selphie pointed to her completely flat stomach.

"God, Selphie." I grabbed her arm, flapping it around to see if it would flap at all. Her arms were amazingly muscled for a girl of her size, but she did loads of sports, particularly jump roping. "You're in great shape, and thinking you're fat when you're not is so highschool."

"_So highschool_." Selphie mocked, yanking her arm back. "I need to loose weight if I want to join the tennis team." For once, she was mellowed out.

"If some guy risks his marriage to sleep with you, I don't think you need to loose weight." Kairi said, her voice turning soft. "Our tennis team sucks, anyway."

"I'm rapidly gaining weight…" Selphie leaned against the red leather seat, staring down at her stomach. She bit her lip, then lifted her shirt, revealing a tight corset. I raised my eyebrows, looking up at her questioningly. She took a deep breath, sitting forward and reaching under her shirt. A moment later, the corset loosened, and her stomach budged out under her shirt. "I think I may be…" She couldn't finish, but I heard the word in my mind. _Pregnant_.

"Oh my God…but that was just the day before yesterday, wasn't it?" Kairi covered her mouth with her hands, looking like she was about to cry.

"Look here…" Selphie took out a little black book from her oversized bag and tossed it into the middle of the table. It barely missed the saucy chip dip. Kairi's eyes widened when she opened the book, and she flipped through the pages, looking like she was about to have a panic attack. After a minute of hysterically skimming, she handed it to me, and I let my fork clatter to the table. Almost everyday that month was filled with random names, ranging from Bob to Jerry to Mousier Frances.

"Any of these guys could be the father!" I dropped the book down, trying to avoid looking at Selphie.

"Selphie…you could have a bunch of STDs...the corset…the dieting…the poor baby!" Kairi tucked her face into her hands, looking exasperated. "Have you seen a _doctor _yet?"

"No…NO. NO!" Selphie slammed her head on the table, making a few customers jump. Her body was shaking with silent sobs. "I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW…I didn't want them to think I'm a…"

"Selphie…" I put a hand on her shoulder cautiously, "we don't think that." I glanced at Kairi, wanting her to help, but she was too shocked to say anything, "You're not _anything_ like that…"

Coming to her senses, Kairi continued, "Just because you're…sexually active doesn't mean you're a slut or anything…I wouldn't recommend it to anyone…but please don't berate yourself like this!"

Selphie lifted her tear stained face, just barely managing a smile. "You really think so?" Her voice was strained but hopeful. I never liked Selphie, only because her and Kairi combined was like a hurricane of super hyperness, but I couldn't say she was a slut…I didn't ever figure she would be _that _sexually active.

"Really." We both assured. Kairi got up and scooted us both over, leaning in and wrapping her arms around Selphie. Selphie placed her head on Kairi's shoulders, closing her eyes and trying to compose herself.

"Here's your food." The waiter from before placed the plates before us, then started to walk a way. A moment later, he froze in his tracks and did a double take. The emotionless look in his eyes was soon replaced with sympathy, and he sat in the now empty seat. "Is there something…wrong?" A voice in the background screamed at him to get back to work, and he hollered for his break. Aggravated groans followed.

"It's nothing…" Selphie said, smiling in reassurance, though her tear-stroked face wasn't very convincing. He looked at her with a determined expression. "I don't want to talk about it." She continued, more stonily this time.

"If you're friends leave, will you tell me?" He looked at us in question, and we glanced at each other. A silent exchange from Kairi said 'yes', and I nodded in agreement. We both complied quietly and clambered over Selphie, leaving the restaurant reluctantly.

"I'll text Selphie to call us when she needs a ride." Kairi opened her car door, looking through the window with a contemplative expression. I nodded wordlessly.

000---000

I'm not sure _why _the whole ordeal bothered me so much, but it did. I sat through Philosophy without participating at all; an abnormal thing for me, but even more abnormal when Kairi stayed quiet as well, allowing the mousey girl to babble on why abortions were the best way to solve situations in which the future mother could not support her child. I felt an empty gnawing at the pit of my stomach, and knew Kairi was thinking the same thing: would Selphie get an abortion?

The rest of the day wasn't much of an improvement – I moved through classes and lectures sluggishly, barely taking in a word that was said. I was worrying too much about people that I wasn't all that close to, which troubled me. The only person who ever worried me was Kairi, and that was only because we were so close. Now, Axel and Roxas and Selphie tugged at my subconscious none stop…and Riku…images of the night at the movies flashed through my mind, disallowing any solutions for other's problems to come to mind. If I couldn't stop thinking about him – about his looks, his scent, his nonchalant nature – it would be a hopeless attempt to try and solve other peoples' problems. And, for that matter, was it up to me, and Kairi, to solve it for them?

I rolled over in bed, the sheets ruffling, and stuffed my head into the pillow. My cell hung loosely in my hand, a constant reminder that Riku hadn't called me since the movies. Kairi called a few hours before, and, through tears of joy and sadness, said that the pregnancy test was positive. Selphie was going to be a mother, but they had no idea who the father was. I would've offered to help, but I felt too exhausted.

_I'm bringing sexy back, YA! _I jumped, scrambling to flip the phone open. I had spared a dollar or so to purchase a new ringtone, replacing Fergalicious with Sexy Back. "Yellow?" I greeted, rubbing my eyes to stay focused. I reached over and flipped on a bed stand lamp, glaring against the dim but blinding light.

"Yellow? I haven't heard that since……" Riku trailed off, then continued with a change of subject, "Sorry I haven't called."

"It's fine." My voice sounded hollow, tired.

"You okay?" At least Riku could read me like a book, while I was still struggling to turn his pages.

"Peachy." I tapped my fingers along the warm steel, wanting Riku to leave. I needed to think.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Only my train of thought."

"Oh…should I go?"

"No!" Instantly, I regretted saying both things. I wanted him to go, but he seemed like my life line. If I let him go, I'd sink into my thoughts and never float back to the top. "I mean…it's fine. I need a distraction."

"I see…" He sounded distant, like he was on speakerphone, but I could hear his breath clearly. "…what's up?"

I glanced upwards, only to see the glowy-star-studded ceiling. I shook my head, mentally slapping myself for thinking he meant it literally. "Oh, nothing. Just another friend of mine getting pregnant."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Generally, no. But when we don't even know who the father is, that's a problem. And, seeing that she's a college student, she'll have to drop out, take a crummy job that barely supports the baby, and eventually become a hobo because she decided to become overly-sexually-active."

There was a moment of thick silence, then Riku spoke, his voice almost tentative, "Can't she get an abortion?"

"I doubt it." I said stiffly, reaching over to turn off the light. The stars glowed more in the dark. "Abortions are sick, anyway."

"They're not that big of a deal…a bit expensive, but, in the long run, it'll save her a lot of time and money." Riku said reasonably – a bit too reasonably. I bit back an abrasive laugh, wondering if he was being serious or not.

"But it's _killing _an innocent human life!" I snapped after realizing that he was being serious. Even my parents cringed at the idea.

"I doubt it's able to form any intelligent thought yet." Riku sounded more distant before, and a tad bit annoyed. "It's like worrying over an ameba."

"But it _will think at one point_." I said, the laughter in my chest now morphing into a cold rage. "How could you think of killing _anything_? Especially an intelligent lifeform!"

There was no reply, only a thicker silence. I was beginning to wonder if Riku had hung up on me, although I hadn't even heard a single _click_. After minutes of the sustained silence, there was a heavy, somewhat worn breath. I bit my tongue, hoping with all hope that he wasn't upset. But, then again, did I really care?

"What will your friend do?"

"I…don't know…" I leaned against the cold wall, picking at where the paint was starting to peel. I'd need to paint soon. "She'll…she'll keep the baby."

"Of course." Riku said airily, "Family can never let go of family."

"Except for my parents."

"You're lucky they're still around." Riku said this in a way that I _knew _something was missing, something like –_ unlucky_.

000---000  
_…to be continued…  
_

-deep breath- alright, before any of you go on Rant Mode, I must say that I agree with Sora and Kairi – just because someone is sexually active does not make them a slut. I don't think that way about Selphie, nor do I think she's annoying nor slutty. I love her as a character, so please don't babble about how she really isn't like that.

And, I'm slowly starting to deplete...I'm fading awaaaay. Being a review vampire, I fear I am need of more of your startling lovely reviews…-flailsforextraeffect-


	9. Feelings

**Forever Lullaby  
VIV **Feelings  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ some disturbing concepts **  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N** Oh my gaaawd, the reviews! I love all of you to death, and don't worry; these reviews are enough to satisfy my ego! –pretends to be humble-

000---000

_The surgeons reach into the pregnant woman, though the camera angle doesn't show her insides, with various sharp instruments. A crunching sound is heard. A small, round object is placed on the table. The camera views in. It is now obvious that the object is an underdeveloped head – a human head. _

I glanced out of the corner of my eye – Selphie was visibly trembling, shaking her head to prevent tears. I swallowed, looking up and nodding at Kairi. She nodded back and pressed a button on the remote. The TV shut off with a _click._

"So I guess that rules out abortion." Kairi said, her voice soft. Selphie muttered a choked 'yes'. "What else?"

"What about adoption?" I offered, trying to keep the options open, except for Selphie keeping the baby. She couldn't support it, no matter how motherly she could be. I didn't want to see her life crumble because of a baby – a mistake.

"No…I don't know who the parents would be." Selphie looked out the apartment window with dull, tired eyes. We'd been discussing the matter for a whole afternoon, with the waiter from the day before sitting quietly at the computer, his back to the desk. He watched Selphie motionlessly, as if willing for her to say something else.

"Can't she just…keep it?" For the first time, he looked at me, his expression steely. "I think that could be an option." I bristled, keeping an unsteady gaze with his. I didn't appreciate his comments, especially since he just met Selphie, and we'd known her forever, so he shouldn't have a right to persuade her…

"I…don't think that would be the _best _option." Kairi broke his gaze, although he took to glaring at her instead. "I mean…" She broke off, eyes falling.

"…it's hard enough to take care of a _gold fish _in college, let alone a baby." I looked at Selphie, who was silent.

"Oh, that's right. A _waiter _wouldn't know." He ran a hand through his blonde hair, which was sort of a combination of a mohawk and a mullet. "Demyx, the lowly waiter, wouldn't know."

"Demyx…" Selphie stood to her feet, a bit wobbly at first, and offered him a death look. "These are my friends…and why are you in such a bad mood? It's not _that _big of a deal! When we were at the restaurant, you were so cheery and…and…cheery!"

Demyx blinked, a very small smile wavering on his thin lips. "Right. Cheery." He glanced at his watch, something similar to the ones I had seen on Roxas and Riku and Axel, then jumped to his feet and tossed on his long, black coat, which was also similar to the ones Roxas and Riku and Axel frequently wore. "Sorry to leave so suddenly, but I gotta go!" He rushed out of the apartment, hopping into a black car that was also, surprise surprise, similar to Riku's.  
_  
_"Maybe I scared him off." Selphie sunk back into the chair, placing her chin in her palm. I would've normally agreed, but, this time, I stayed quiet.

_I'm bringing sexy back, YA! _

000---000

"Are you doing anything for Christmas?" Riku asked, his voice muffled for a moment by the sound of an engine starting. Kairi and Selphie gaze me questionable looks, and I held up a 'hold on a sec.' index finger. They exchanged looks, a silent message was passed, and grinned.

"I was thinking of going with Kairi to visit her family…" I said, glaring at the two girls as they tried to listen in.

"Oh…" He sounded disappointed. "…where?"

I lightly pushed them away from the chair, asking for Riku to repeat himself. He did, and I bit my lip. I didn't want him to come barging in and kissing me or something, Kairi's family would be bound to put a restraining order on us. "Twilight Town."

"Really?" His tone was much content this time, "I'm going there too! All of us are going."

"All of us?"

"Yeah…Axel, Roxas, Demyx –"

"DEMYX…THE WAITER?!"

"You know him?"

"Sorta."

"…and Xigbar and everybody else. Except Xemnas will be 'too busy' for a vacation."

"A vacation from _what_?" I sounded exasperated. I knew there'd been loads of people in the background when we first talked, but I didn't think they all lived together. What kind of thing did they do, anyway? I didn't even know if Riku _had _an occupation.

"Uh, you know, just…_life_. We all live in this big manor, Oblivion Mansion, 'cuz all – most – of us lost our parents and Xemnas took us in. He's great and everything, but a little psycho." The whole thing sounded psycho. "We'll be staying in this great hotel in Twilight Town and everything."

"Which part of it?"

"Sort of in the ghettos, but it's not as bad as everyone thinks, really." The car in the background came to a stop, and I heard the crunch of gravel as Riku walked briskly towards somewhere, probably the manor he'd been talking about. It was starting to get too cold to stay outside for more than five minutes. "Especially at night…it's all glowy, and they're having this big rock band blow out party thing." He made it sound alright, but I still didn't trust the area.

"Seems fun." After much prodding, I eventually put him on speakerphone.

"It _will_ be fun…" He paused, fumbling with clinking keys. "Maybe you and Kairi can stop by."

"YUS!" Kairi hollered before I could say anything and snatched the phone, yelling "YUS YUS YUS YUS YUS!" multiple times. I pulled it back from her, saying I'd have to think about it, and that I, or we, needed to go.

"Wait!" Riku called over Kairi prattling on about how fun it'd be and me saying I'd get too much of a headache. "Want to think about it over dinner?"

"Well…"

"YES. OF COURSE HE WILL!"

"Perfect." He started to open a squealing door, then stopped. "Tonight, seven? I'm a late eater, what about you?"

"Seven's perfect!" Kairi, as usual, said for me. She snapped my cellphone closed and embraced me in a bouncy hug, her cheek smacking against my jaw. "This guy…he's so perfect for you, I swear!"

"Except that he's male, and that's pretty unnatural in my book." I pushed Kairi off of me, glaring at Selphie for her stupid peppy smile. "It's not like I'm trying to pair you two together!" Selphie and Kairi looked at each other, their eyes wide, then made a face and gagged at the floor.

"For one thing, I'm _straight_, Sora." Kairi rubbed her temples in agitation – a mutual feeling. "Well, so am–"

"And she is _not _my perfect match," Selphie gestured to Kairi, "Female or male."

"How can you _tell _if someone's your perfect match, then?" I hardly _knew _Riku, how could _they_ know more than _me_? Improbable! _Impossible_!

"I really don't know…do you feel happy when you're around him?"

"More like uncomfortable."

"Same thing.

000---000

Like our first 'date', my heart was fluttering at a rate that could _not _be healthy. If Riku kept coming late, I'd suffer from a heart attack. At least I could sue him for it, if I survived. But it wasn't like I was nervous, especially since I was wearing _normal _clothing – jeans and a russet, silky soft shirt. There was no reason to be nervous about the being molested part, but the acting stupid in front of him was still a big problem. I didn't care about doing so in front of him specifically; I didn't like _anyone _having the impression that I'm an idiot.

His black car rolled up the street like they do in spy movies – all slow and dramatic like. His silver head poked over the dashboard, smiling at me in greeting. I waved unenthusiastically, trying to get a look in the back. He brought no one and neither did I. We were alone.

The car stopped in front of me, the door swinging open just barely far enough as to not whack me. I clumsily clambered in shot gun, heavily shutting the door behind.

"Hey, Riku," I greeted, noticing his fancy slacks and shirt. "Should I have dressed up more?" I gestured to my stained jeans.

"You look best in jeans, although I didn't mind the leather." He winked, revving up the engine. I blushed, looking out the window to avoid his gaze. "Does Italian sound good?"

"Fine." I said shortly, feeling the walls forming again. He made me feel insecure rather than happy, so there was no way on earth that he could be my perfect match. I was beginning to wonder where the old, happy-go-lucky Sora had gone…ever since he came along…

"Did Kairi tell you what happened?" Riku turned his head towards mine, almost crashing with another car. By then, I was used to it. I looked at him, then out the window. I shook my head no. "You don't have to lie, I knew she would."

"She did…" I closed my eyes, listening to the smooth tires run along the road. "Is Axel doing alright?"

"Whoa," Riku's fingers lifted from the wheel for a moment, then fell back down, "You _care _about someone you _don't know_?"

I sharply turned my head, giving him a questioning look. _Of course _I did…why would he… "What did Kairi say?" My voice was rigid, and I fingered my phone, preparing to snap at her as soon as I could.

"_She _didn't say _anything_," I didn't have to look at him to tell he was smirking. "You act different around your friends than me, or, let's say, Roxas."

"That's because…oh." So, I didn't like opening up to people right away…it took awhile to gain my trust, although once one did, I would trust one like a childhood friend. "I do care about Axel's feelings, even if I don't really know him."

"He's hurt, but he won't ever show it, especially to Roxas." Riku said the name spitefully, his face hardening. "I feel sorry for him."

"Which one?"

"Both, I guess. One can't admit their feelings and the other one can't hold them in."

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

I would've continued a bit longer than that, but I wanted to update tonight…so…I cut it short.

Remember, unless you want me dead, do review :3


	10. Peaceful

**Forever Lullaby  
X **Peaceful  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ mild language **  
Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **I must admit, it makes me so happy that you guys don't want me to die! Don't worry, with all these wonderful review, it'd take a big dent in the review numbers to make me die! Or, at least, let my self-confidence and will to write die. Just so you all know, I do in fact enjoy being overdramatic.

000---000

The Olive Garden menu made no sense to me, how could it be _possible _to pack so many greasy ingredients in one order _without _causing a bunch of heart attacks? Don't get me wrong, I love Italian, but it's heart burn central! Although, my brief rants and 'huh!'s were just excuses not to engage in real conversation with Riku, who looked quite agitated and bored by then.

"Are you ready to order?" A petite waitress requested, her hand propped on a notepad. Riku glanced at me, ordering the unhealthiest item on the menu, as well as a few equally unhealthy appetizers. I smirked, glaring at him in a surprisingly silly manner. A silvery eyebrow lifted.

"Same." I said, handing my menu to her without looking over. A knowing smile dabbled on her shimmery lips, and she turned with a considerably amused look.

"I hope you don't die on our first date." He said while looking over a small water glass.

"I'd hardly call it a _date_," I snorted, rolling my eyes and looking out the window. Cars drove slowly by, their headlights coupling with Bigtown's building lights. A gas station was across the street, next to the Starbucks that I worked at. I'd have to get back into shift the next day…Tuesday. At least, I thought it was Tuesday – me and Kairi's shift being Tuesdays through Thursdays – but with all the things happening, it was hard to keep track. I turned my head back to Riku, who seemed a little hurt.

"Ah, sorry that I couldn't take you anywhere fancy…" His eyes were on his glass, trailing on the dribbling condensation. The droplets slimmed over the bump in the glass, then flattened before they dampened the checkered table cloth. "I'm sort of on a tight budget this week."

"That's not what I meant…" I felt a sudden pang of guilt, as well as hunger, and reached for my iced tea. I suckled on the slice of lemon before adding a packet of Splenda and stirring it with the tea – the sound of ice against glass slicing the thick, awkward air between us. "I meant…I don't know. I didn't take this so much as a date than a hang out dinner…" That wasn't true. I knew it was a date, I just didn't want to believe it.

"Of course." Riku watched me thoughtfully, then smiled and continued, "Do you wanna know how you did on your Homo Test?"

"Considering how I pushed you away, I'd say…straight." I took a piece of ice from the glass, sucking the hint of tea off of it before biting down.

"That's funny," Riku's smile widened. I didn't see the humor. "because you struck me as…uncertain."

"I'm nineteen, Riku," I took a sip of my tea, wincing at the lemony tartness, "_Boys_ are uncertain, _men _aren't. I think I'm pretty certain on my sexuality."

"_Men_?" Riku laughed, actually _laughed _as if I just told the damn funniest joke he'd ever heard. I glowered at him, feeling bitter heat rising to the base of my neck. "_You've_ had life experience? Real life experience?"

"Plenty!" I spat, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. Not like it mattered, I was officially an adult – a _man_. Young man, if you want to get technical, but still a man. "You don't even know me!"

"Someone could take one look at you and say, 'that kid's got no life experience, nope, nada'. You're not that hard to figure out." He parted his bangs from his face, some kind of glint twinkling in his eyes. It faded away, and I turned to see the source of his diminished mood. A man had entered the restaurant, resembling something close to Riku. "I've gotta go." Riku stood briskly to his feet, about to exit, then stopped, his hand loosely pressed against the door. He turned around, looking back at the man and then at me. "Let's go…together."

"What's going on?" I asked, turning to look at the dark silver-haired man. Riku braced my shoulders, forcing me to look away. I felt my heart jump in my throat, pulsing thickly against my chest. His eyes were worried about something, begging me to come along silently. I bit my lip, nodding and silently following him out of the building.

Riku jumped into his car, ushering me on. I took one last look at Olive Garden, wondering how such a place could freak Riku out so much, and slipped into the passenger seat. I watched him pull out of the parking lot, actually not threatening our lives, with his jaw muscles giving a spasm every now and then, contorting shadows along his chin.

Finally, after we were miles away from Olive Garden, he breathed a sigh of relief, then smiled enthusiastically. "Sorry about that."

"Who was he?" I was beginning to really worry about him, and if I should be in the car at all. Was he going to park in some random forest and slash me into bits in pieces, or drive off some random cliff? Which one would be worse? I guess it would depend on the circumstances – if slashing was less painful than drowning, unless the car blew up like they do in movies, then my death would be quick and painless. That didn't sound so bad.

"Xemnas." Riku was breathing heavily, looking exhilarated. Maybe he was going to kill us both, just for the hell of it. And, to my worst fears, I realized we were heading towards Twilight Town, somewhere near the train station. Maybe we would go to Sunset Terrance so he could shove me into the ocean or something, then, as I'm falling in slow motion, I could watch him grinning maniacally at me, giving a pageant girl kind of wave.

"Isn't that the guy who took you and everybody else in?" The name itself had struck me as odd, vaguely floating in my memory for future use. He didn't sound like a great guy, even with Riku's praise…and why would we be running from him, then?

"Ah…" Riku drummed his fingers on the wheel, looking like he was trying to make something up. I willed myself not to scowl, or freak out and call the authorities. "I was supposed to be at Oblivion today…to help out with spring cleaning."

"…it's Winter."

"He doesn't know that."

000---000

We pulled into the outskirts of Twilight Town, where the sky had turned from maroon to an orangey glow, speckled with stars and a yellow moon. Even with the sky forever on fire, the town itself had grown dark, looking to be stuck in a blueish twilight, with everything seemingly painted a dreamlike azure. I stepped out of the car, which seemed harshly out of place in the old western bricked buildings, deliberately slow. I looked at Riku over the roof of the car, now magenta instead of black, questionably, and he only shrugged.

"I know this one place." He explained, as though it answered all my questions. I didn't push on the subject, since I sensed a 'no-questions' block exuding from his stiff shoulders, and I didn't want to provoke any slasher thoughts. "But we should stop by Sunset Terrance first, it looks great at night."

"It looks like twilight…" I walked behind him, keeping a couple steps away. I placed my foot where his left an imprint in the weak, dusty pebble stone. His foot was huge compared to mine. "More twilight than night, at least from what I remember." I'd been here before, of course, with Kairi and her family, but I never saw the twilight, or night, like this. The sky was always strange, but never _that _strange.

"It's always like this…" Riku stopped, obviously waiting for me to catch up. I built up my courage, realizing that I was being stupid, and walked next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder. His hand brushed mine, and I let our fingers intertwine. The town was warm, though it didn't match the warmth that flowed through my veins whenever we touched. "I hear the same thing from everybody else; it looks funny when I'm around." "That's weird." I commented, also referring to the large garbage bag sitting on one of the steeper hills, the rope tying it to the wall just barely about to snap. I edged away a little, almost bumping into a wide-eyed kid who watched us with an eerie intensity.

We continued climbing the hill in silence, and I held my breath for the fabulous sight I knew would be worth all that climbing…and…it was simply a large, round area with steps leading into two glass doors. I gave Riku a strange look, though he didn't seemed to notice, and reluctantly trudged along behind him, which made it difficult for us to continue holding hands. Riku tugged me along, without questioning my disappointment, and we entered the train station. I clambered up the stairs with him, trying to keep up with his hurried steps. "C'mon, Sora, or we'll be late!" There was a kiddish excitement in his voice that threw me totally off guard, and almost down the steps. "Klutz!" He snapped, sounding more amused than annoyed.

After what seemed forever, with my legs aching from recent slack of exercise, we came up to the ticket booth. A shadowy figure stood behind the tinted glass, announcing the ticket prices with a bored voice. I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for him to announce the free ride to Sunset Terrance, because he never allowed anyone to pass before he did. After a long drone of different variations of ticket prices and passenger numbers, many of them not pertaining to exactly _two _passengers, he pointed to the closest train, which was leaving in about ten seconds.

Hefting a heavy sigh, we took off to the train, thankfully tumbling in when the door slid open. I looked around for anyone else, spotting two guys and a girl holding up transparent orbs to the sunlight, and, for a moment, I got lost in the distorted reflections before Riku pulled me into a seat beside him.

The train started with a heavy lurch, causing the five of us to lean over, and also causing me to blush from the closeness of Riku. He seemed completely unfazed, except for a smirk that twitched on the side of his mouth. I ignored it, turning to the three others, who were now stuffing the orbs into orange pouches and talking about what they did on their last day of school and what college they were going to. I figured they were about my age, maybe younger. I wondered if they were around Riku's age, then it suddenly hit me like a well-aimed punch – I didn't even _know _his age.

"Hey, uh, Riku…" I started, surprised at how casual my voice sounded. That was my conversation-with-Kairi voice, not my conversation-with-Riku voice. "…how old are you?" He turned to look at me, a silver eyebrow slowly rising, disappearing somewhere behind his bangs. His smirk formed larger.

"Nineteen." He answered, and I was admittedly caught off guard. I would've guessed he was at least in his mid-twenties, judging by our staggering height and facial structure differences. Suddenly, I felt rather insecure.

"Eighteen…" I said, turning my attention to the window. The sky itself was turning my orange and yellowy, and the lighting was becoming lighter, with the blue twilight transforming into a yellow evening. Riku was right; I'd never seen Twilight Town so…strange. "What college are you going to?"

"I don't go to college, and I never will." Riku shrugged, "I got homeschooled, and they taught me all I need to know." I turned to look at him again, staring hard. Maybe I didn't want to get to know him better. He was everything my parents scoffed at, but, then again, didn't I not give a damn what my parents thought?

After an awkward moment of silence, Riku continued, "You go to Princeton, right?" Was this guy stalking me? I felt the urge to scoot over and talk to the three other passengers.

"Right…" I almost hit myself, _of course_ he knew. Kairi told everyone in existence that we went to Princeton. "Kairi told you." It wasn't a question, and he nodded with a smile. I knew then that she must've went into an extensive detail of all our classes. I felt an empty hollow at the pity of my stomach, somewhere around the feeling of cruel envy; Kairi knew Riku better! And he didn't have any romantic interests in her! Not that I knew of…but, wait, was I saying he had romantic interests in _me_? Other than kissing me…….I was beginning to wonder if I was boytoy to him. A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed it painfully. It didn't matter what he thought of me, because, if anything, I only intended that we remained friends.

"Sora, right?" One of the others, a chubbier one with a red shirt, asked, leaning over. "My mom talked about you, said you mowed her lawn. Spiky brunette with 'sparkly blue eyes', not hard to miss." He gestured to my head.

"Don't be rude and not introduce yourself!" The girl with light brown hair spoke up, rolling her eyes in the kindest way possible. "I'm Ollette, that rude kid is Pence, and this punk is Hayner." She pointed behind her at the funky haired blonde, who smiled in a very un-punk fashion. "You look a lot like someone I know…" She scooted over to me, using her hands while she remained seated, looking thoughtfully into my eyes. My neck was tensing uncomfortable, and I also could feel Riku tensing as well, a bit protectively as well.

"Roxas, you mean." Hayner said, not moving from his relaxed position. "Kind of slanted at the bottom and rounded at the top."

Riku hmphed in disapproval and turned me for an intense examination. Before the emberassed warmth spreading through my neck could reach my face, he lightly turned me around. "I guess you're right."

"You know Roxas?" Pence asked, obviously intruiged.

"_Know_ him?" Riku laughed, "I _live _with him."

"Really?" Hayner said, his voice abrupt and almost aggressive. "And you mean live by…?"

"Not a romantic way." Riku clapped his hand on my shoulder, my body tensing under it. "Why do you ask?"

"It's nothing!" Hayner protested a little too quickly and, for the first time, shifting his weight edgily. "Just wondering if he's, you know…"

"Gay." Riku finished for him. "I can't say for sure, he's hard to read, you know?" For a second, Riku sounded normal, then, "Unlike Sora."

"Shuddup…" I tried to move away, but Ollette's face remained in my way. "How do you guys know him, anyway?" Riku asked, the indifference returning to his tone, yet there was always something hidden behind it. "Roxas isn't very…social."

"He comes up here loads of times." Hayner said, still uneasy about something. "Says he likes the look of this place – calm and stuff like that."

"Twilight Town is a very homely place.' Ollette agreed, remaining in that sweetly boring kind of personality, although there was a spice to everything she said. "Loads of stuff to do," Pence piped in, making me feel like they were advertising homes here. "I haven't seen Roxas in a while thought, and whenever I do, he's always on edge."

"Why you so quiet, So-r-a?" Hayner asked, saying my name in a way that most people did when they first tried it out. It wasn't a hard name to say, but maybe it was fun to people who never said it before.

"Huh?" I tilted my head, as if I never heard something like that before, which I haven't. Honestly, I was the social butterfly ADHD kid in highschool, but once I graduated, I kind of grew out of it. "Oh…I…know Roxas…sort of."

"He's quiet, a lot like you." Ollette stated, finally giving me some space. I automatically edged away a little from Riku.

"I wouldn't exactly say that…" Riku leaned over, making my efforts in vain. "…Sora's a lot cuter."

As expected, I blushed.

000---000

We sat in silence the rest of the way there – at least, I did. The other busied themselves with telling jokes and laughing and the likes, but I was still mulling over Riku's comment: _Sora's a lot cuter. _It stuck in my head, repeating over and over, every syllable, every emphasis exactly like Riku had said it. Had he meant it in a teasing, sarcastic way or a playful, sort-of-gay way, or, perhaps, in a serious, super-gay way. Did Riku consider me good to look at? Was Kairi being _serious _when she said I was? I gnawed on my inner cheek, as though it'd help me, trying to decipher what Riku meant, and, most importantly, what he wanted.

"We're here." Riku said, nudging me with his elbow. I jumped, shaking my head and looking at him with wide eyes. "We're here." He repeated, and I slowly nodded. He watched me with an odd expression, then took my hand and pulled me to my feet, standing up and waving goodbye to the Hayner, Pence, and Ollette before we took our separate ways. Just before they turned around, their eyes fell on our loosely clasped hands, then they exchanged knowing glances and walked off. If their glances were so knowing, mine wasn't, although Riku had that same I-know-something-that-you-don't-HAHA look in his eyes.

Sunset Terrance glowed a crimson orange, with a few people dotting the sparse, unoccupied yellow brick buildings, all of whom, being the people, we made a point to avoid. If the two of us bothered to stop and talk to any of them, they would delve into a long, detailed story of how beautiful the sunset was at the top of the hill, and how they would miss it if we didn't hurry up, though it was their fault for delaying us in the first place.

Riku dragged me along with such vigor, I almost tripped over the bridge, covering a manmade ditch, and various objects. He, like everyone else, would happily order me to get a move on. Really, I was trying to catch up to him, but my stubby legs wouldn't do so when I ran, and everytime I did, Riku broke into a sprint that caused me to stumble more than once.

With a trail of dust left behind us, we ran up the hill, gasping for precious oxygen. I was clinging to Riku by now, my ankle twisted, and panting like a dog. We collapsed at the top of the hill, rolling onto our backs and bursting out into bubbly laughter. I bonked my head with Riku's, who whammed his shoulder into mine. Letting out an indignant cry, I pushed myself to my knees, pinning him down with a victorious grin. We stayed like that for awhile, then I realized that Riku _hadn't _been fighting back. Flustered, I rolled off of him, laying on my stomach to face the glowing horizon. Riku laughed and did the same, his shoulder bumping into mine, right where he had left a bruise. I resisted the urge to flinch.

I dug my fingers into the ground, watching the sun lazily sink into the ocean, casting a line of shimmer along the calm waters, pointing at us and reciting into nothingness. It wavered, casting shimmers along the ripples near it. I breathed in the fresh, salty hair, heaving it into the dieing grass, willing it to revive. Riku said nothing, seeming to drink in the peace as well. I glanced at him, looking at him when he caught my gaze. He smirked, shaking his head and placing his chin on his arms.

"So…" I started, tearing my eyes from the sunset to ripping out dead grass blades. "Where're we staying?"

"I planned it to be a surprise." Riku said, making me reconsider the fact that he wasn't a mass serial killer. But his voice sounded honest, almost eager in my acceptation that I shrugged my shoulders in a casual sort of agreement. "I think you'll like it, though."I smiled, turning on my side and pulling my torso up to rest on my elbow. Riku did the same, watching me in expectation. I blinked, looking down at the ground. "Depends." I spoke, bringing my eyes back up to his face. My legs curled when he brought himself a little bit closer, an unreadable expression on his strong features. I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about his physical aspects. I wanted to know him better, but not in a physical way. "…what's your favorite food?"

Riku titled his head in question, his brow furrowing in a way-caught-off-guard manner. "My food favorite food…" He rolled onto his back, as if it was the most difficult question that ever existed. "…strawberries." He crooked his eyes at me, then looked at the darkening sky, though, by darkening I mean reddening. The color black didn't seem to exist in this place. "Yours?"

"Chinese." Oh, yeah, get real specific, Sora! I was close to smacking myself, because, the only way to get a person to open up completely is to pretty much rip yourself apart. I wanted, _needed_, to know Riku. For being a good new friend purposes only, of course. "Rice, mostly."

"I like rice," Riku nodded, not noticing my mental troubles, "It looks plain, but once you get a real taste of it, it really isn't. Soy sauce adds a perfect taste, too."

I flopped onto my back, accidentally resting my head on Riku's shoulder. He didn't seem to notice, or to mind. I was about to pull away, blushing as usual, but decided against it. The ground wasn't nice a pillow, Riku was. Always the best reason to remain in awkward positions…

My eyes fluttered closed, and we let our conversation lapse into a warm, comfortable silence. I found myself slipping away into a half awake sleep, only reacting to Riku petting my hair with satisfied mumblings. It wasn't all that bad, really, to have someone run their fingers along your scalp, although a bit embarrassing when they tucked your hair behind your ears, doing so multiple times. It felt good, and it reminded me of my mother, when she used to do that sort of stuff. She'd used to sing songs from the Little Mermaid, exactly like Ariel, except in a light, whimsical voice that drifted me off into dream land.

I let out a heavy, contended sigh, feeling my stomach lift and fall, a sign of being on the brink of sleep. Riku ruffled my hair, lightly pushing me off his shoulder and scooping me into his arms. I mumbled in objection, flailing my limbs in vain. He rubbed my upper arm, soothing me into stillness and holding my head against his chest.

It was…peaceful.

000---000  
_…to be continued…_

Do you guys like fillers? 'CAUSE I DO! If you like fillers, clap your hands!...alright, fine. So you probably like chapters that actually have a point, but that's just…that's just so uncool!  
-scoff-

…coffee+PrettyRainbowbouts of happy hyperactive CRAZY

AND. IT DOES HAVE SOME POINT. HINTS AND FORESHADOWING GALOR!

DO REVIEW MY DEAR SANE PEEPS!


	11. Burning

**Forever Lullaby  
XI **Burning  
**Chapter Rating** E10+ mild language  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney

000---000

Dreary light filtered through my eyelids, and I groaned, flopping over and stuffing my face in something soft, though considerably dusty. I pushed myself halfway off a bed I didn't recognize, blinking a few times before I noticed that the place was unfamiliar. I squinted, barely able to see in the bright, white room. I yawned, casually sitting up and stretching, then, through mid-yawn, it hit me – this could be _anywhere_, and, with the downy look of it, I suspected it to be Heaven. I pinched myself and concluded, since I supposed angels couldn't feel pain, that Riku hadn't killed me off the night before. Riku…who was Riku again…?

_Riku_! I jumped to my feet, rushing past the crayon drawings and through the door, stopping abruptly when the scenery changed into a trashed, abandoned looking stairway. At first, the scent of musk overran my senses, making my eyes water, then the faint wafting smell of bacon floated into the room. I sniffed it before confirming that it was coupled with fresh brewed coffee, thus I followed the invisible trail of mouth watering aromas to a door guarded by scuffed up suits of armor. I paused before opening the door, watching them as if for permission. Since they didn't move to object, not that I expected them to _do _anything, I pushed the door open, stepping into a white kitchen. It was bright, momentarily blinding, but not as much as the room I'd been in earlier.

"What're you doin'?" I asked tiredly, stopping in the door way to rub the sleep out of my eyes. Riku responded with a quick grunt, jumping from one counter to the next, stirring and flipping and checking things. It looked like he was cooking a full blown breakfast. "Where are we, anyway?" Riku gestured around the expanse of the building as if it would suffice as a clarification. "What happened after I fell asleep or whatever?" Another grunt. "Can't you answer at lease _one _question? I like to have an account on my present whereabouts!"

Finally, after turning all the dials off and placing things appropriately on what appeared to be the serving counter, Riku turned to face me, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. He took a deep breath, beginning to speak before loosing his voice again. He raised a finger, which didn't help me figure when he planned on explaining himself, since one index finger could indicate one second, one minute, one hour, one day, on week, one month, one-…

"First, I _was _making breakfast, second at the Abandoned Mansion, and I took you down here after you fell asleep…" He leaned against the counter, closing his eyes as to calm down. He looked tired. "I wanted to see your reaction when you were actually awake, but you're too peaceful when you're asleep…"

"And you _carried_ me all the way here?" I looked at him in disbelief, running to a window to try and point out Sunset Terrance. "Wait, we're _in _the Haunted Mansion in _Twilight Town_?"

"I'm a lot stronger than I look." Riku made a face that very faintly resembled something reminiscent to a pout. "Yeah, yeah…but I prefer to call it the Abandoned Mansion. 'Been here loads of times, no ghosts or anything like that…don't be so paranoid."

"Paranoid's my middle name." I grinned at my joke. Riku wasn't amused, just looked at me smugly. "Thanks…you didn't really have to do that, or all _this_," I threw my arm towards the food with a delighted expression on my face. As not to seem rude or ungrateful, I immediately dashed at the plates and silverware, filling up my plate in seconds before grabbing a quick cup of steaming coffee, and, in some bizarre miracle, made it to the small kitchen table in a matter of seconds. Riku smirked, looking somewhat amused or bemused, it was hard to tell with him, and followed suit in a much slower process, taking his time to pick and choose his food and smother his coffee in cream and the likes.

"Where do you put it all?" Riku inquired, watching my eating habits with amazement. "Does it just go away like magic?"

"_Poof_." I said through mouthfuls of pancakes, sausage, and bacon, as well as some biscuits and delic_ious _gravy. "And you're a good cook, I'm kind of surprised." Riku was much too manly to cook, in my opinion.

"You know, loads of people in our house, someone's have some know-how." Riku ate an average speed, taking his time to chew his food, "You'll die faster if you don't chew more." I noted there was some sort of…inner joke in that statement, and I looked up at him in confusion. He looked flustered, then regained his cool and smirked, "Minimum chews for each bite should be at least thirty, but I think yours are about…" He paused to watch me eat without skipping a beat, which rhymes, "Two, at maximum."

"What are you, my mom?" I rolled my eyes, scooping off the last bits of crumbs and gravy on the plate. I continued with chugging down my cooled coffee, which was why I waited to drink it last, since it would scorch my tongue if I didn't. "I think I want to go home now."

"What are you, my child?" Riku sneered and poked at his food. "Whine, whine, whine…" He muttered something under his breath, then said it was nothing when I asked him about it. I shrugged it off and took my dishes to the sink, barely bothering to rinse them off before returning to the table.

"What's on the agenda today?" I asked all professional-like, though Riku burst out into barkish laughter at this. I pouted indignantly, trying to save any pride I might've had left. Damn, I was starting to wonder what that random pull of attraction was about the night before…must've been the lighting. Stupid nature and all it's pretty-ness… "You going to answer?" Riku had probably forgotten about the question today, laughing his head off and all…

"Oh, right…" He took a moment to ponder, placing his elbow on the table and resting his chin on the palm of his ethereal skin. A thin, but thick and almost strong looking, finger tapped along his lips, which looked incredibly slick and soft in the dewy morning light…I shook my head of these thoughts, focusing, instead, on the rotting yellowy paint that was chipping off the kitchen walls. "Eh, hang out, eat, walk around…shop for stuff, something like that."

"Is there a TV in here?"

"No, why?"

"For entertainment…what else?"

"Of course there's no TV, it's an _abandoned _mansion. The only thing remotely modern is the kitchen appliances and broken beer bottles."

"Then what's the point of _being _here?"

"It's like camping out!"

"…did we switch personalities overnight?"

000---000

We eventually left the mansion promptly at noon, decked out in casual clothing that seemed to govern secret dress requirements for the town. No one dressed in anything too dark, too revealing, or, God forbid, too dressy. It was relax, relax all the time, except for the town mayor and people who found themselves too important to blend in with the 'little people'. Especially the tall, built and freakishly girly man who played obsessively in Struggle battles, an event clearly meant for younger teens.

I decided it was time to bring up the topic that was on the verge of my mind, and on the tip of my tongue, but I never had a chance to bring it up earlier. I sat down on one of the square bricks, a shape that was strongly emphasized in the town's architecture, so said the tourist pamphlet, with Riku halting abruptly in his tracks to do the same. I sat straight up, while he hunched over his legs, his elbows resting on his knees and hands clasping and unclasping in front of him. He looked up at me expectantly, but with an even patience. Realizing that I had been staring and way overanalyzing his actions, I quickly looked down at the ground.

"How's Axel holding up?" I vaguely remembered the redhead in the back of my mind, mostly the cheery smile and slightly overpowering personality. "After…you know…"

"Roxas started talking to him again," Riku linked his fingers together, forming various types of knots, "So I guess their friends…"

"Nothing more?" I asked, sincerely curious.

"Not yet, and I thought that would gross you out…" Riku smirked at me, a brow rising in curiosity and, almost, as a challenge.

"What would gross me out?"

"That they're becoming such close friends…maybe something more."

"I don't care about homosexuals, I'm just not one." I turned my cheek to him, then spotted a ice cream stand. "Sea-Salt Ice Cream! Let's get some!" Before Riku could reply, I snatched him the wrist and dragged him up to the stand. I ordered us both some ice cream, letting him pay and hopped back over to our seat.

"This stuff's pretty good." Riku said appreciatively, licking at the said stuff.

"Salty, yet sweet." I recited the slogan in a cheery voice, stuffing the Popsicle into my face. Riku grinned at me, shaking his head as to hold back a laugh. I rolled my eyes and leaned back, making sure not to choke myself in the process.

"Roxas is obsessed with Sea-Salt Ice Cream," Riku bit the rest off of the stick and proceeded with snapping it in half. I lowered my eyes as splinters haphazardly flew off in all directions. "He always babbled about it when he got back from Twilight."

I nodded quietly, reveling in the cold taste. Riku fell beside me, bumping heads against mine. We stared up at the orange sky, naming off different shapes in the smeared clouds. The air was balmy, with a slight breeze rustling my hair. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of it – it smelled old, but not in the stuffy kind of way. Old, but fresh…

Riku leaned over and licked some of my ice cream, falling back in place before I could do anything about it. I grumbled and turned on my side, protectively munching on the melting blue stuff. Of course, that created a sticky pool near my face, and I had to sit up rather abruptly before it clumped my hair together. Trust me, you _do not _want to be in hitting distance when my hair gets messed up, not that it wasn't messed up already…

I sighed and gave up in trying to save my ice cream. I let the rest of it dribbled slowly to the ground, leaving blue drops on the dusty ground. Riku pouted, ranting on about how my hand would be too sticky to hold now. I ignored him, tossing the rest of it in his face.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ WAS THAT FOR?!" Riku cried, attempting to save his hair from a sticky death.

"Oh, sorry. I thought your face was the garbage." I smirked at him, though the expression was slapped right off my face. Riku was hovering over me and, before I realized it, his hands were clenched tightly on my shoulders.

"Don't _ever _talk to me like that, _ever_." A shudder ran through my body – his eyes were _burning_.

000---000  
_…to be continued…_


	12. Games

**Forever Lullaby  
XII** Games  
**Chapter Rating** Tmild language & crude humor  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **I'm _so _sorry it took longer than usual to update…all this moving, school work, stuff like that…it's distracting. But I promise to update more often, and hopefully with better quality!

000---000

I dismally watched the shadows of trees through the window, wondering why the road looked so different during in daylight hours instead of night. Riku was running his fingers along the steering wheel, drumming them to a beat of a song that I didn't recognize. It sounded like something from Nickelback, but I didn't listen to rock much…

"…sorry about my freak out session back there," Riku said, breaking the thick silence we'd lapsed into. I turned my head back at him, brow crossing. After snapping, Riku had ordered me back into the car. Admittedly being freaked out, I did so obediently. Most the drive home was tense, but once Riku had popped in one of his CDs, he conteded himself with bobbing his head to the beat. "Believe it or not, I'm a pretty sensitive guy."

"Wait, _you're _sensitive, the great gloryful Riku is _sensitive_?" I looked at him in dramatic disbelief, my hand held over my heart for extra affect. He rolled his eyes, punching me lightly in the arm.

"You hurt me so…" Really, if his…whatever he did…thing didn't work out, he could always consider acting. Not like he was any good at it, he just looked the part. I inwardly berated myself for thinking like that – it wasn't all that normal for a guy to admit another guy was attractive… "I have nothing else to do, mind me paying a visit?"

"You're not getting into my apartment, I already told you that." Still, it didn't sound like such a bad idea…I _needed _a guy friend. Kairi and Selphie were going to scar me for life if they kept begging me to dress up in the frilly dress – yes _dress_ – they'd bought me at a drag store.

"It's not like I'd be getting into your pants or anything…" He paused, a grin spreading on his face. He turned his head towards me, and I readied myself to grab the stearing wheel if he didn't notice how close he was getting to that semitruck… "At least…unless you _want _me to."

"Hah, you wish." I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks and I looked down, praying that he didn't notice. Judging by his self-satisfied smirk, he probably did. I glanced out the window, noticing the haze surrounding the horizon. We were nearing Bigtown, where the pollution was definitely a problem. It was painfully obvious we had touched the suburbs, judging by the faintest scent of gas and the crammed houses, all looking the same. I regretted leaving Twilight Town, having been brought back to the sense of reality. Here, there was college, work, things anxiously waiting to be done…I sighed heavily, pressing my face against the car door. Riku's fingers stopped drumming, and the music changed from cheery to plain annoying. He changed it to the next track, then the next, the next, and finally smacked it off. I closed my eyes, praying that we could return to the sunset…

000---000

The car, and my dreams, were brought to a sudden stop, and I could feel Riku lean over and open the passenger door. There was an air of hesitation, then he reached down and placed a steady, warm hand on my shoulder. I wondered if he would pick me up and carry me to my room, but he shook me instead. "We're here." He said, voicing the obvious. I grumbled incoherently, turning on my side to block him out. Not that I really I was, I kind of…wanted him to carry me again. The idea made my stomach knot in a sickeningly _good _kind of way. "Wake up, Sora." His name rolled off with a patient fluency. He gave me another soft shake, and I grudgingly rolled to face him, blinking in the sun. It was falling under the horizon, the hazy rays reaching toward the stars already poking through the fabricating night sky. Strands of silken, silvery hair fell about his face, gently tickling my chin. I wrinkled my nose, taking the hand he held out and let him easily pull me out of the car. I stumbled into his chest, using the second to take a whiff of spicy cinnamon, and used his shoulders to steady myself. He looked down at me with a puzzled, distant expression, then took me by the wrist and led me to the front door, not like I _needed _a guide dog to get anywhere…I was just…dazed, but dazed by what? I couldn't necessarily say.

In a dream-like trek, we entered my dorm, and I felt for a moment an embarrassment for the clothes flung all over the place, but Riku apparently didn't mind. He took a seat on the desk chair, spinning in circles. I glanced down at my wrist, already missing the warmth of his skin against mine. I flushed, quickly taking a seat on the creaky bed.

"Do you wanna spend the night here?" The request slipped before I could stop it, and Riku looked up at me in mild wonder, maybe even relief. The look passed, his façade turning as cool and stoic as ever. "I mean…you let me stay the night at Oblivion Mansion, I might as well return the favor…"

"But there's only one bed." Riku gestured to said bed, his eyebrows raised. "We wouldn't want to _share _it, would we?"

"It's not a big deal or anything!" I felt my voice waver and crack – oh, yeah, Sora…_real _convincing.

"Then we'll share." Riku concluded, hopping from his seat and taking one next to me in a silvery blur. He grinned, strands of discarded hair obscuring his bright eyes before they fell back into place. "Like you said, no big deal, right?"

"Right," I glanced around the apartment, looking for _anything _to distract him for the awkward topic at hand. My eyes landed on a stack of various games – board and Twister and Pictionary alike. I grinned, jumping to my feet and shifting through them. "Help pick a game, Riku!"

"…alright," Riku, a little reluctantly, kneeled in front of the rack, his brow creased in concentration. In a few moments, he carefully pulled a long box from its place. "Chess," he stated simply, tossing it in my hands. I cringed, this game _hated _me, and I hated it. It was sort of a mutual agreement that I should go for Checkers instead.

"Are you sure…?" I grumbled, though I was already setting it up on the coffee-stained carpet. The look on Riku's face gave no room for argument. "What about Checkers…or Uno?"

He smirked, tilting his head – silvery hair shifted in the dimming light. "We can play those later, and maybe some _other _games."

"Like?"

"You know, _other _games."

"…and what would these _other _games be?"

"You're hopeless…"

"But…_whaaaat_?" Really, I had no clue what he was talking about. I figured it out hours later, once he'd fallen asleep, which was the perfect timing for drawing over his face…

At the moment, we perched ourselves at the battle lines, Riku choosing the black pieces and leaving me with the white. I took this as common courtesy, as white always moved first, or racism. You're pick.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Was Riku's immediate question, eyeing my pawn wearily. "You're king is more open."

"Your turn." I muttered, folding my arms defensively, "and I _don't _need help."

"Whatever you say." Riku shoved a pawn forward, one measly space. I looked around the board, spotting the bishop with an open diagonal path. The splits in most pieces always reminded me of a mouth, partially open in the midst of speaking, then frozen on the spot… "_Your _turn."

I inadvertadly rolled my eyes, and instinctively shoved my queen over three spaces, a perfect advantage for Riku's bishop. He paused, his lithe hand floating over the piece, just barely touching it before he moved it to the same pawn as before, moving it directly diagonal to mine. I raised an eyebrow, catching his conflicted look, then took his pawn.

He drummed his fingers, eyes still hung up on his bishop. I realized my mistake, but, somehow, didn't want to take it back. He looked up at me questionably, and I nodded, giving permission for him to take me, and putting it like that…I felt heat rise to my cheeks as he dramatically knocked my queen over. It rolled to the side, and he claimed it with an apologetic expression. I only shrugged, even if I could feel the competitive spirit churning in my chest. I used to feel that way when playing soccer, before I accidentally kicked a soccer too hard, and ended up giving the goalie a bloody nose. For fear of hurting another living thing, I refused to play it ever again, with Kairi bugging me about it for weeks on end and all.

"You play horrible." Riku stated after taking a knight, castle, and bishop, all incredibly important defenses. I glowered up at him, moving a knight towards his king. He snorted and switched it with a supposedly forgotten castle. "Give up?"

"Not yet…" I brushed my hand against his, too involved in my next move to blush. Riku placed his hand over mine, his fingers slipping through the spaces between my trembling fingers. I looked up at him, not even noticing that his hand was taking lead, grasping some piece and moving it towards his king. I blinked, eyes falling to the checkered black and white board. He moves his pieces in perfect synch with mine, the white pieces – _my _pieces – scattering the black over the board and the floor. He kept his eyes even below, letting them dart over the pieces, silently measuring the moves that would benefit to my side. I swallowed, finding myself staring at him too long, though I didn't look away. It's like watching a car crash, you can't look away.

"Say it, Sora." Riku said, his voice low, almost a whisper. I raise an eyebrow, confused. "Check. Mate."

My pawns were lined in repetitive spaces, the numbers equaling a diagonal pattern. I blinked at Riku, then, with a suddenly dry voice, "Check mate." I slowly pulled my hand – not sweaty at all, just…cold – away and placed it on the floor. I leaned forward on my knees, examining the board with shock. The last time I checked, my pieces had been aligned in one strong line, threatening and protective. Now they were placed everywhere, and though it was seemingly random, it had a numerical pattern, like fractions with squares. Riku had to be a genius, perfectly aligning the pieces for victory. A violent death for their opponents – their targets.

"Rematch?" Riku asked, his eyes sparkling, "No help this time, though."

"You're a pro, aren't you…?"

"I've been in a few competitions in my lifetime."

"That's no fair!"

"I could teach you," Riku leaned over, taking my chin in his hand. He tilted my head side to side, down and up – I hoped he didn't feel the heat rising to my face. "you're face isn't made for chess, too emotional. Blushing all the time." He tch'd-tch'd, shaking his head sadly. I backed away, but his hand remained like a leech. "It isn't very professional."

"Whatever," It was all I could say, due to obvious nerves. I batted his hand away, though it only ran to my cheek. His freezing touch clashing with my warmth sent shivers through my spine. I could feel hair on my neck lifting. "I…have another game."

"What's that?" Riku's hand drifted to my wrist, helping me to my feet and towards the bed. I followed him like a dog on a leash, and a…image ran through my head, sending my cheeks back into betraying fire. "Not something stupid, right?"

"Kinda…" I sagged into my bed, trying to ignore his arm around my waist. _When had I allowed **that**? _"It's an alphabetical game," I ignored Riku's groan, "…you have to say where you're going, what you're transport is, and what you're bringing. You can include random stuff, too, but it has to start with the letter your turn is on. Like, I'm going to _A_labama, on an _a_lligator, and I'm bringing an _a_pple."

"If I have to…" Riku slid his hand into my pocket, running a prim fingernail along rough fabric. I swallowed, silently reciting the alphebat for a distraction. "I'm going to…Barbie World, on Bambie, and I'm bringing a backpack."

"_Barbie World_?" "It was the only thing I could think of!" Riku held up his hand in a defensive matter, giving me a chance to scoot up to the wall, where Riku followed. I grunted, kicking at his chest. He grabbed my feet, smirking, and pulled me under him. "I have a different game."

I closed my eyes, opening one to make sure he was still hovering a radius of two feet away. "…no, thanks." I almost squeaked. "I'm going to California, traveling on cartwheels, and I'm bringing a…" I trailed off, finding it harder to sque…speak with Riku's knees digging in my sides. "…co…c…o…c…coat!"

"Urgh, fine…" Riku paused momentarily, lowering his head to my ear. I could feel his animatingly smooth lips quirk into a mocking smile, "Lets…skip to S?"

"But…I don't get to do R…" I found myself mumbling stupidly, "I'm going to…Rainbow Land…on a…Rik…R-h-i…no…, and I'm bringing a…ripped guy…CD! Ripped _CD."  
_  
"Hah, aren't you imaginative?" Riku pressed his face against mine, "I'm going to South Dakota, on a _Sora_, and I'll bring Saix, just for kicks."

Being too preoccupied with the whole _'on Sora'_-thing, I didn't bother wondering who Saix was. I blinked, again, and pressed my hands weakly against his chest. "…" I turned my head away. "…Riku…" His hand pressed against my cheek, gently forcing our eyes to meet. I licked my lips, and his gaze drifted to them, a pointed look on his face.

His lips pressed against mine, softly. I could taste bitter coffee against his lips, mixed with a subtle tang of mint cream. I let my eyelids flutter closed, and instinctively, and tediously, pressed back. There was a pause, then Riku returned it, incredibly soft. I moaned quietly, his tongue running along my bottom lip, leaving the same taste of coffee. His hands slid to my wrists, pushing them against the bed, which squeaked in response. I could barely hear it, but the creak of rusty door hinges was rather loud.

"SORA!" A bright red streak shoved Riku out of the way, collapsing over me with a bunch of wheezy breaths, and Kairi's bright eyes were suddenly in front of mine, our noses smashed painfully together. "YOU'RE BACK! WHERE'VE YOU BEEN?! YOU MISSED AN IMPORTANT LECTURE YESTERDAY! WHY'S RIKU IN YOUR BED?! WERE YOU MAKING OUT?! OH MY GOD. IS _THAT_ WHAT YOU WERE DOING?! JESUS, SORA! YOU'RE SUCH A MANWHORE. JUST DON'T TURN INTO A MALE SELPHIE OR ANYTHING, 'KAY?! BECAUSE IF YOU GOT PREGANAT…THAT'D BE JUST WEIRD. AND YOU WOULDN'T GRADUATE! AND I COULDN'T TAKE _PICTURES_!"

"…what?" I grumbled, shoving Kairi off with much more ease than with Riku, "Wait…yes I've been gone, Twilight Town, that's too bad, I don't know, not really, not entirely, I AM NOT, that's seriously _weird _and _impossible_, and I still could…and…you take _horrible_ pictures, Kairi." Somehow, after years of being her friend, not entirely enjoyable but not bad either, I had been able to decipher her bursts of rambling.

"Oh, well…you could've at least _called_!" Kairi whined, taking a seat on the curve of Riku back, who glared at her with hidden annoyance. "Were you _that_ preoccupied not to call your bestest friend in the world?!"

"Decaf…" Riku grumbled, quite irate from his unsuccessful attempts at shoving the tiny, but incredibly heavy, redhead off of him.

"I don't drink coffee!" Kairi grinned down at him, patting his head like a pet dog. Riku growled, though that didn't much prevent the Riku Puppy image formulating in my mind. "…I do work at Starbucks, but I don't drink coffee on a normal basis. At least, I haven't today. AND GUESS WHAT, SORA!"

"Whaaaat?" I said dejectedly, being in the bad mood that I was. I wouldn't admit that it was because she interrupted our soon-to-be-make-out-session, though. "Am I going to die in seven days?"

"You know, Selphie called me and said that once, and I was like, '_Mayonnaise?'_," She giggled, a far off look on her face that greatly resembled an old lady remembering her good times with a dead husband. "Funny story. But, no, that's not it!"

"Then _what_ is it?" Riku inquired gruffly, his head stuffed in his arms.

"It's Friday!" She paused, like she'd forgotten something super important, "And that kid Demyx, he lives with these people that are taken in by their foster dad or whateva, Xemnas, and it turns out he'll be taking in Selphie's baby! It's a boy, so he'll fit right in. OH! And it turns out _Riku_ here lives with them, and Roxas and Axel and all these other orphaned guys, and that one crazy chick, Larxene! Except Roxas isn't exactly orphaned, not sure _why_ he's there, but you get my point. Selphie will be able to see him a lot, though, so that's not a problem."

"…wow…" I blinked, not sure whether to be excited or what. I looked over at Riku, whose face was still hidden, but he had suddenly gone ridged. "…that's great!" I exclaimed, wincing as Riku looked up at me with a blank expression – but I was happy for my friend. It was a great option for her baby, especially since they seemed to be treated well, with the whole going to a rich hotel and everything…I mentally slapped myself, trying to keep my own rambling thoughts in order. "Riku kind of filled me in about his…living arrangements."

"Oh, really?" Kairi gave Riku an approaching look, "Gheesh, I'm sure out of the loop!"

"We like keeping our loop _exclusive._" Riku growled, and finally got Kairi off of him. "I'm going…to go take a walk or something." He started towards the door, but turned his head to look at me. A question was forming on his lips, but it wasn't said. He stood there, his eyes turning from inquisitive to sour, and he spun around and briskly excited the apartment. Kairi and I sat there, watching him disappear down the grundgy halls.

"What _did _Iinterrupt?"

"_Games_." I spat more viciously than intended. I knew exactly what we were playing, but didn't voice it. It sounded too twisted, but, subconsciously, I knew it was true.

_Mind games_.

000---000  
_..to be continued..._

If any of you want to leave constructive criticism, I encourage it! It's always nice to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong, but _PLEASE _leave something to where I can personally contact you! I don't bite…much.

_REVIEW BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL! X3_


	13. Gay

**Forever Lullaby  
XIII **Gay  
**Chapter Rating **T language & crude humor  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney

000---000

Christmas was nearing closer than I could handle. There was shopping to do, decorating, greeting cards to send, parties to attend…and Riku still hadn't called me since the…incident last week. It reminded me of the first time I spent Christmas alone – waiting for Mom or Dad to at least call and wish me a Merry Christmas. They never did.

I pressed my lips thinly together, fingering a neon watch with second thoughts. Why should I feel obliged to buy Riku a gift? It wasn't like we were _dating _or anything…and it wasn't like were close friends. '_But he _kissed _you…that sounds pretty friendly,' _the voice in my head, the one that was bipolar and couldn't decide whether it liked Riku or not, objected. I pressed my head against one of the red and white – obviously – Target signs, trying to straighten my thoughts. '_A week and a half before Christmas, plans with Riku and his…foster siblings are still on, I need to buy Kairi and Riku a gift, send holiday greetings to relatives I hardly know, and…what am I forgetting? Right…Christmas lights. Ugh' _

"Need any help…?" A voice, someone I recognized but couldn't place, asked from behind. I slowly turned around, black sneakers leaving marks on the tiled floor, and glared up at the one who _dared _to interrupt my thought process. "…remember me, Sora?" The guy, man-ish?, grinned cockily, a thin brown eyebrow raising. I continued to glare at him, partially for being so overly friendly and because his hair was a little too wild not to match with a name…OH!

"Demyx!" I exclaimed, then frowned, "oh…did you come to bother me or something?" I growled, bristled, and turned back to the jewelry section, continuing in browsing through watches that I could never afford. "Because you're doing a pretty good job of it."

"What's up with you?" He almost whimpered, almost, but covered it with a short snort. "Axel's around here, too, ya' know…waiting for Roxas, since he has better taste at Christmas shopping than all of us. Kind of a prick, though, never liking anything that has to do with holiday, or celebration…as a matter of fact, he hates anything that includes jubilation. Anything loud, he almost smashed my sitar 'cause it's _too loud and obnoxious_. It's actually pretty quiet, compared to other instruments, and sounds all cool-like, you know? Of course you don't know, it's an uncommon instrument…or…the name's uncommon, like different drums, no one knows the difference between bass and snare unless they're procussionts themselves…" He took a deep breath, swaggering and pushing a strand of dirty blond hair out of jade eyes. I saw this very vaguely, since I was only eyeing him partly, trying to keep my attention on jewelry to tune him out. "But I'm babbling, aren't I?"

"I'm pretty used to it – used to be a champ at it." I grumbled, giving up on finding something in my budget and turning towards him. He was taller than I remembered, but thin and not too muscular. His face was warm, welcoming, like I hadn't seen it before…and his eyes twinkled with happiness, though, if you looked close enough, it was a simple façade – a mask. He wasn't intimidating like Riku and Roxas and Axel, who either towered over me or had that '_shut the fuck up_' look on their face. "Axel and Roxas are friends again, you said?"

"Sort of." Demyx dawdled on the topic, stuffing his hand into a coat that the other three orphans, or whatever Roxas was, wore. "I'm not sure, exactly…we're all make-out buddies, except for Roxas, but they…I think they have something more, something deeper than just friends with benefits, you know?"

"Not really," I frowned, shaking off the thoughts of me and Kairi being 'friends with benefits', "But you say you all are…and Riku…"

"He's an emotionless bastard," Demyx caught the look in my eye, which I didn't even notice I was making, "…no offense…" He seemed weary on the topic, and quickly checked to see if someone was listening in, although I doubted anyone would. "He _plays _with people the wrong way, not even _that_ way…the worst way that a person can play with people…he messes with their emotions, wins their heart and then breaks them down. Piece by piece, until he…he kills them…" His eyes dropped to the floor, something mulling in his mind, and I prayed that he didn't mean 'kill' in the literal way, "…he kills who they are inside. They're left with nothing. Everyone's a game to him, because he wants to be the player…not the pawn."

"_Mind games,_" I whispered, under my breath…and I wanted to believe him, but another part of me denied it. Riku was cool, too stoic at times, but…he had emotions; I'd seen them, for better or for worse. Maybe he just… "Roxas…is that why he's…?"

"Riku was and always has been Roxas's best friend, his partner in crime, if you want to put it that way…" Demyx closed his eyes, sighing a breath of relief, like a tremendous weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, and heaved onto mine. "Roxas isn't a bad guy…he's cold and distant sometimes, but he may act worse towards you because…because Riku chose you over him. Roxas thinks he isn't envious of your relationship, because he thinks it's another one of Riku's mind games…that you're just another victim, but we all know it's different this time…" He was shaking his head, nervously twiddling his thumbs. He looked at me for some sort of reaction, and when I gave none, he continued, "Just be careful, alright?"

"…okay…" I didn't know what else to say, how I was supposed to respond to that…

"Hey, it's that kid!" As if on cue, Axel sprinted toward us, dragging a grumbling Roxas behind him. "Soda!"

"Sora, idiot!" Demyx grinned and grabbed Axel's shoulders, swinging an arm casually around him to make sure he didn't fall over. The redhead was breathing harshly, clutching to shopping bags and a rainbow sherbet, which Roxas was trying to snag. "Aw, are you two sharing _rainbow _ice cream?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't care about the color!" Roxas snapped, finally taking the sherbet and gobbling in big, messy slurps. "IT'S SUGAR THAT I WANT." I raised an eyebrow, trying to act like the mature one…for once. That was me in high school, begging Kairi to buy me sea-salt ice cream. "SUGAR!"

"Roxas has…sugar problems." Axel explained carefully, making sure to edge out of getting-brutally-punched-by-Roxas distance.

"…like blood sugar problems?" I blinked innocently – a look I'd perfected over the years. The two taller, and probably older, males grinned at each other.

"No…more like _sugar obsession _problems…" Demyx feigned a sympathetic look at Roxas, like one of those midwives who pretended to feel sorry for the passed away woman they hated, but were really celebrating inside. "We tried everything…everything we could…"

"But nothing could help him…" Axel finished, sighing. I was starting to wonder if they'd practiced this before…

"SUGAR!" Roxas shrieked, shaking and twitching convulsively. I swear on my dead grandmother, he screamed like he was being chopped up by a psycho. I shook the gruesome thoughts out of my mind, and reached for the finished sherbet, just in case he used it for artillery, but shrunk behind Demyx when he _hissed _at me. "I DEMAND. MORE. SUGAR."

"Now, Rox…" Axel carefully took a step forward, trying his hand at disabling any weaponry Roxas may have. People were dangerous on sugar highs, extremely. "…just calm down and give me the sherbet…I can get you some ice cream, sea-salt, in fact! Maybe even _Starbucks_?"

"…Starbucks…" Roxas looked around the store, as if he'd never been to such an alien place before. "…there's Starbucks in…in Target?" He was still shaking, but at least he'd gone out of hysterics. "…why? WHY IS THERE A _MERMAID _IN A _TARGET_?! IT'S UNNATURAL, PREJUDICE!"

"…against mermaids?"

"NO. AGAINST TARGETS, AND THE DOG!" Roxas dropped the sherbet, ignoring the mixed colors – somewhere between a barf green at that point – that dribbled over his shoes. "…mermaids…they don't deserve…" He collapsed against Axel, his eyes hooded. "…to be with targets…and dogs…and red and green reminds me Christmas…I hate Christmas…it was when…" He trailed off, and we said nothing, just glanced at each other. Axel bit his lip. Whatever happened on Christmas, me and Demyx apparently didn't know.

"I'll just take Roxas to the display beds…let him rest…" Axel pulled Roxas into his arms, looking down at him like a mother would on her child. "…we still got shopping to do, though! So we'll meet up with you guys later, 'kay?" I opened my mouth to object, but Demyx responded with a happy 'YES!' before I could give my opinion.

"…what if I don't want to shop with you?" I blurted, yanking my shopping cart – the wheels, of course, broken – towards another section of the store. His hand fell on it before I could make an escape, and I almost felt trapped, but the amused twinkle in his eyes was strangely…calming.

"Riku's right, you are pretty cute." He was leaning in, examining my features. I blushed, looking towards the…red ceiling…maybe my cheeks could camouflage with all this red… "And you _do _blush a lot!"…guess not… "Adorable, really!"

"Sora…_me_?" Stupid Sora…always talking in third person…

"Oh, no..the _Easter _bunny," Demyx rolled his eyes, mouthing something to God, "OF COURSE YOU, SORA!" He started leading through the various sections, scanning over the merchandise and scoffing occasionally. "Something for Riku…something for Riku…and that Kairi friend of yours…" He stopped abruptly, and I grunted, seeing as the bar had dug into my ribs. I coughed loudly, Demyx too preoccupied with picking something out to notice. "SILK BOXERS!"

This only caused me to hack, choke, and come dangerously close to dieing. "_SI…SILK BOXERS?!" _

"It's either that or the man-thong!" Demyx reached back to the rack, but I grabbed his wrist just in time. "…damn, Riku would've like the man-thong…"

"I want to get him something…special…"

"_Special_? Like boyfriend-boyfriend special?"

"SH!"

"What?"

"People will hear!"

"HEY, LOOK, EVERYBODY, SORA OVER HERE HAS A BOYFRIEND. THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S GAY. G-A-Y!"

"I AM NOT!"

"That's why you kissed Riku, because you're _straight_?"

"HE CAME ONTO ME FIRST!"

"You never pushed him back."

"HE'S…BIGGER…THAN ME!"

"…then it's _rape, molestation. _Why didn't you call the cops if you didn't _LIKE _it?"

"HE...made…me…like it?"

"De'nile isn't just a river in Egypt…"

"SHUT UP!"

"Touché."

"ALRIGHT, I LIKE-LIKE ANOTHER GUY! HAPPY EVERYBODY?! I'M GAY. GAYGAYGAY." By then, half the store was listening in, rather disgruntled.

"Good, now we can get him a _special _gift."

"…Demyx…?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I…ask Riku to be my…_boyfriend_?"

000---000

We quickly decided on a fake gold ring, the only thing I could afford, placed in a plush red box. It made me think of a wedding ring, but Demyx said it was the perfect thing, because it showed that I was willing to give up something to him, and a ring was a symbol of eternal…love…? The problem was, I'd spent the rest of my money on a CD for Kairi, and had none left for a ring of my own. Demyx shrugged it off and said if Riku had accepted my ring, he would surely buy one for me…

It was weird, deciding so quickly that I did, in fact, like Riku, and I wanted…to date him. It was odd putting a title like that on our relationship, if he accepted it, because…it was so binding, _boyfriend_...and I suddenly felt like I had a duty, a job to fulfill. I knew one thing was for certain, _I had to make Riku less of a mystery, and more of a friend…but more than a friend at the same time… _

I never had goals like that…or any goals, except in soccer and school, that I set myself with, for people…but I wasn't a people person, not now. I shrugged it off when we saw Axel and Roxas racing after us, caring a heavier load of bags and ice cream.

"We're 'disturbing the peace'…" Demyx started with a lopsided grin, "Sorry, but they kinda kicked us out."

"We…we finished…anyway," Roxas explained between breaths, "Bought some stuff for our new…friends," He pointed carelessly at Sora.

"We're gonna go get lunch at Taco Bell," Axel included, hefting a bag against his thin waist, "Wanna tag along?"

"Sure," We answered simultaneously, and glanced at each other. A feeling passed between us, one of…friendship, even though I hardly knew the guy…then again, I hardly knew any of these people. And it felt strangely…good to be around other guys, instead of just Kairi and Selphie.

We excited the building, laughing and talking like old friends. I felt comfortable with them, included…I wanted Riku to be there, but having Roxas actually talking to me, smiling as well, was good enough. The three others had all come in the same car, freakishly small, and I followed them to Panda Express. I knew exactly where it was, what it looked like, the smells, the noises, and everything reminded me of silver…of Riku.

Sitting at the same table as them, distracted from my silent cell phone, was a relief. Demyx had told Axel and Roxas – without my permission – about my wanting to be Riku's boyfriend, and it took awhile to coax them into believing it an alright idea. Axel thought Riku was too much of a player, Roxas agreed, even if his posture had stiffened considerably.

"Be careful." They both told me, a forlorn of warning in their eyes. I opened my mouth the respond, but _Sexy Back _killed any response I was formulating.

"Hello?" I managed to squeak out, my throat taught with sudden nerves. The mood of the table changed from uptight to relaxed to uptight again when I mouthed it was Riku.

"Hey, Sora…sorry I haven't called lately. They made _me _do the decorations." Riku scoffed at the idea, but it turned out as fuzz. Bad reception. "What're you doing?"

"Should I tell him that I'm with you guys?" I asked, making sure it was on 'mute'. They responded with quick nods. "Eating with Demyx and Axel and Roxas…at the Panda Express."

"They aren't bothering you, are they, because if they are –…"

"No, they're great…what're you doing?"

"Going to Target, for more Christmas lights. Manors aren't made for Christmas…"

"Oh, you just missed us! We were at Target, and Roxas had a sugar-panic-attack." I grinned at Roxas, who was shooting a death glare. "It was funny, though…frightening."

"You get used to those after being around him for awhile…" He laughed, more fuzz. "What'd you get me?"

"Oh, am _I _not enough?"

"Never."

"I see how it is!"

"Damn, and I thought I was being mysterious."

"You're horrible at _that _game."

"But, you know, there's a few _other _games I'm good at…"

"Watch out, your ego's showing."

"You wish it was!"

"You wish I wished it was!"

"…DON'T DO THAT."

"Sorry, only complexly minded people understand..."

"Haha. But you're avoiding the subject, so that must mean I'm not getting anything from Santa…"

"You only _wish _I was in a Santa costume!"

"THERE YOU GO AGAIN!"

"Right, right. Well…I got you something…I'm not sure if you'll like it much…"

"As long as it doesn't bite and scratch…wait, not that's kinda…nevermind."

"…what'd you get _meeee_?"

"It's a secret!"

"I don't like secrets!"

"Great, another thing to add to the What-Sora-Doesn't-Like list…which recently includes making out with me."

"I never said…!"

"I know you were praying to the Goddess of Fate to bring in some distraction. Then Kairi comes in. _Can't _be just coincidence."

"…I was kind of enjoying our little…session…"

"Alright…well, Santa, I'll let you go. Next time, you'll be sitting in _my _lap."

_Click_.

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

This would be the filler to pwn all fillers. XD;;; Sorry if Roxas seemed…OOC, but I could really imagine him having a spazzy-sugar-induced moment.

_THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!...REVIEW AGAIN! X3_


	14. PS

**Forever Lullaby  
XIV** P.S.  
**Chapter Rating** T mild language and crude humor  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney

000---000

"I can't believe you followed me to work. At midnight." I stared Demyx down, who was grinning at me and Kairi rather maniacally.

"Well, you still won't tell me what your little _session _with Riku was all about." He graced us with a suggestive grin, and a wad of cash for all the treats he'd ordered. Kairi watched us, holding back a curious smile, while heaping the cookies, sugary sweet breads, and a variety of other delectable stuff, as well as a frap, on one heaping pile.

"I know…but it's weird." I frowned, sipping a 'borrowed' latte. "How'd you know I work at Starbucks, anyway?"

"Riku told me…all of us." Demyx shrugged and took a bite into his cookie. Crumbs scattered on the counter, and I gave him a reproachful look. He didn't seem to notice.

"Their little session…" Kairi glanced at me, and I glared, she also didn't seem to notice. "I walked in on them, and it was getting all hot and steamy, if you get my meaning." She raised her eyebrows, and Demyx snorted, spewing coffee. I groaned and took that moment to run off to the bathroom to get some paper towels, whilst vaguely listening to their receding conversation.

I heaved a sigh, once the heavy door shut. The bathroom was incredibly clean, too clean, though the air freshener reek made me wince. I impulsively checked my cell – nothing. It wasn't like I was _expecting _a call…I just _wanted _a call, but I wasn't about to blurt my enternal love to Riku if he happened to be on the other line. Frankly, that'd be too awkward. I shook my head, pocketing the cell, and reached for the paper towels. Before I touched one, there was a light, but sturdy, knock.

"Be a minute…" I called, leaning over to quickly lock the door. I needed time to think things over…if I really wanted to tell Riku…if I really had _something _to tell him. I closed my eyes and circulated my fingers over my temples. _Headache…_

"I have something to tell you." My eyes shot open, and so did my head…right into the paper towel holder. _**RIKU**?_

"OW. OW." I rubbed my head, tongue in cheek. "…Riku…hold on…" I reached for the paper towels, again, and ripped a bunch and opened the door. Riku gave me a lopsided, tired grin, strands of silver falling over his eyes. I swallowed and gave him my best considerably blinding grin. He looked away for a moment, then took my hand, palm up. "…Riku?" I blinked, and he placed his hand over mine. Something light, like paper, fell into my palm. He curled up my fingers and started for the door, with Demyx and Kairi watching him silently. "...HEY, RIKU!"

"Look at it," He said over his shoulder, and disappeared into the night. I watched his car pulled out of the parking lot, then looked down at my hand. I opened it, slowly…

_Sora, _

Come with me and the gang to Twilight Hotel on Christmas, please?

P.S. go outside

Riku

I turned my head towards the door, where Riku was patiently waiting outside. Demyx nodded his head, as if permitting me, and I drifted outside the building. I crossed through the doors, partially noticing them moving aside by themselves, and smiled inquiringly at Riku. He shifted from foot to foot, fingering something under his long coat.

"Hey you," I inched closer, and he visibly flinched. "Is there something you needed to tell me, hmmm?" His hand fell to his side, and his shoulders relaxed. "…because Kairi's going to be disappointed when I go with you guys instead of her."

"So…you're seriously gonna go?" Riku sauntered forward, his warm breath spilling over my face and tickling my nose. The scent of mint gum was laced with strong spicy cinnamon, making me sway a little on my feet. "Maybe you should get started with packing…"

I opened my mouth to point out that there was two weeks to pack, but his bright gaze caught mine. My eyes squeezed shut, and once they opened, aquamarine orbs swam into my vision, cutting into anything else. His soft lips brushed against mine, chastely at first, then his hands wrapped around my waist. Instinctively, I tilted my head just slightly and pressed back. My arms wrapped around his neck, bringing our chests together. I sucked in a tight breath, pulling away to catch a glimpse at his flushed face. Our short, desperate breaths mingled in the air, creating puffs of translucent white. I caught Riku's gaze and leaned in for another kiss, but let a foot slip around Riku's ankle. He gasped, eyes widening, before he fell heavily onto his black car. I fell back with him, crying out as our lips met painfully, but neither of us pulled away. Hesitatingly, I slid a tongue over his upper lip, taking note of the accumulating sweat, and clung to his arms for support. My eyelids fell automatically, covering the cloud of silver with a warm black, full of colorful dots and spreading masses.

"Sora," Riku carefully straddled me in his lap as he sat up. His pale face was a rosy pink, completely contrasting against the moon reflecting in silvery hair, and his lips were on the brink of plumping. I licked mine, reaching for his face again, but he clasped my shoulders. "As much as I hate to say this, I've got to go."

"Aw, _why_?" I pouted defiantly, willing for Riku to stay forever.

"I have a few…errands to run." He gently stood up, dragging my relecutant body behind him. He led me to the sliding door, like a boyfriend would after a date, and placed a peck on my warm cheek. I closed my eyes, gripping to his shoulders and digging my face into his chest. Strong arms wrapped around the small of my back, making me feel incredibly secure and warm. "If there's something you want to tell me, you should say it now."

"Why now…?" I whispered into the crook of his neck, the comforting feeling of tranquility shattering. "…isn't there other times?" He pushed me back, hands tightly on my shoulders, and stared me down with a serious expression written over his features.

"…yeah, other times." He let go and started for the – dented – car, but not before turning on his heel expectantly.

"…wait, Riku…" I suddenly found my shoes very interesting, and Riku not…which was a lie, of course. I didn't want to reveal anything unsaid, and anything left to be said at other times. Those times in which I was ready to say them… "_P.S. meet me at my apartment tomorrow and help me pack_."

"That was informative." We both cracked into stupid grins, waved, and took our separate ways. I watched the car pull out of the driveway and speed off into the night over my shoulder, wondering for all the world if Riku's response was a _yes _or _no_.

000---000

I bit into a pastrami Subway sandwhich, narrowly missing my finger. I glared at the luggage, willing it to pack itself. Sadly, technology hadn't quite reached that level yet. But , when it did, me and Kairi would definitely celebrate. My best redhead friend let out an exasperated but satisfied sigh. _Half way done_. It wasn't _my _fault I had so many clothes, products, stuffed animals…I wanted the hotel to seem like a home-away-from-home…

"When's Riku supposed to come over?" Kairi asked, slurping the rest of her orange Fanta. "'Cause I'm about to force Demyx to help."

"Or worse…SELPHIE!" I put on a shocked face, which earned me a well-aimed punch to the shoulder.

The intercom called my name, while I continued whimpering pathetically, and I immediately recognized it to be Riku's voice, though scraggly by static. I grinned at Kairi, who rolled her eyes and went to answer the door, making a comment on how my current state would embarrass her and the rest of the cramped apartment building. I ignored her comment and stood to my feet, attempting to make the room at least walk-able to no avail.

Riku, dressed in casual black slacks and a white shirt, stepped slowly through small patches of carpet that weren't being taken up by large amounts of discarded clothing and other random items. He gave me a quick kiss before shifting through what we already had packed and what needed to be done, all the while looking very disgruntled.

"Are you _sure _you want to bring the stuffed unicorn?" He held up a rainbow unicorn with plastic orbs for eyes. I shook my head, although I felt a pang of guilt as he 'accidentally' tossed it out the window.

Kairi slipped conspicuously in the bathroom, falling over a few times, and left as two 'lovebirds' alone. I beamed sheepishly at Riku, who just shrugged casually and tiredly. "Did you get enough sleep last night?" I silently berated myself for asking such a stupid question, but Riku only shrugged again. "Oh…want some coffee?" He shook his head no. "Wanna makeout?" _Oops,_ the request 'slipped'.

"Eh?" He gave me a look as if the term was foreign to him. I highly doubted this. "…I'm too _tired_." He half whined.

"LIES! If you were, you would've accepted _coffee_."

"No, thanks."

"No acceptance of coffee…major issues young Riku has. May the coffee force be with you!"

"Right, and when have you converted?"

"Once you stepped right into my life, young Riku!"

"That's _not _what I meant."

"What _did _you mean?"

An annoyed cough, courtesy of young Riku, followed.

Silence.

"You're a geek, _young _Sora."

"You're an arrogant ass, honeybunns!"

"And you know how to describe my ass _how_…?"

"RAPE!"

"Sure."

"No, really. Gangbang."

"FYI; _I'd _be the one raping _you_, not the other way around."

"Gangbang or regular rape?"

"There's a _regular _rape?"

"See, if you were _really _a rapist, you'd know that."

"Oh God, just _shut up_." Kairi stomped from the bathroom, slipping on clothing, and gripped our heads and smacked them together. "I don't need to hear your sexual fantasies, guys!"

"…right, so. Riku…_regular_ or _gangbang_?"

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

_  
OH MY GAAAAWD! **REVIEW x3! **_


	15. Good

**Forever Lullaby  
XV **Good  
**Chapter Rating** T mild language, drug and alcohol usage, and dark themes  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **Again, thank you guys for all your kind reviews! Mucho love to ya'

000---000

I slammed on the gas pedal, lurching backwards as the car sped through the intersection. I ignored the red light, and the guy who flipped me off. Riku's desperate, pleading words rang through my head like a bell. He needed help, that was for sure, and the only thing I could barely make out was the address for Oblivion Manor.

The eligibly written directions were blurred under my vision, and I made a sharp right turn, almost toppling onto the passenger seat. I caught my breath, pressing harder against the gas and speeding through the desolate street. Under the heavy blue glow of twilight, Oblivion Manor towered over the other houses in a haunting way. I stopped the car in front of the manor, shoving a heavy door open. I ran up to the door, not pausing to knock, and blasted past Demyx, who stared after me with wide eyes.

"Hey, Sora!..." His hand softly closed on my wrist, "Riku is…be careful, alright?" His eyes were full with the same warning as they had been in Target. I blinked, staring at him before yanking away and running blindly up the stairs.

"You're on the wrong flight." Roxas blocked my path, looking me over with an exasperated expression. "I don't understand why he wants you so badly." He sighed and gripped my wrist, taking me down the stairs and to the left. "Take the door on the right side." I nodded in thanks and blasted up the flight, gripping the railing for dear life. I flew past Axel and some other people I didn't recognize and stopped at the said door. I hesitated, a hand holding the doorknob before carefully turning it.

The room was a blinding white, hiding a shaking black form in the corner. I stopped, heart dropping when I recognized the silvery hair, now drooping over the floor like a mop. I slowly stepped forward, failing miserably at muffling my footsteps. Riku looked over his shoulder, face obscured by dull silver. I could still see his chapped lips twist into a grin. He tried to stand, but collapsed. Shocked, I couldn't move. His eyes were red and his skin pale – he resembled a demonic ghost, a shell of what I had just seen a few nights ago…_why hadn't I called when he didn't? _I swallowed, shoving my heart to its proper place.

"Ri…ku." I ran to him, unable to register the sweeping background, and kneeled by his side, holding him to his my chest. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw shattered bottles of prescription medicine and beer. _Suicide…_"What…did you do?"

"We…_he_…didn't want you to see him like this." Demyx stood behind me, looking down at his shoes. I turned, glaring. _Secrets…_ "But…he called you before we could stop him…you see?"

"Why would he…why would _anyone _do this?" I gently turned Riku, who was too delirious to object, over, cupping pale cheeks in my hands. He looked at me through partially closed eyes, and I avoided their red gaze.

"I don't know exactly why _he_ does…" Demyx shifted against the wall, "I know this sounds terribly emo or whatever…...but, sometimes, I feel like doing it too, you know?"

"_No_."

"Riku's committed sins, Sora. Bad ones." He strode over, and something broke in his step. He stopped, the strong, almost awkward confidence dwindling to nothing. He tried to smile, but it came out as a sort of scowl. I cringed and pulled Riku closer to me, as if protecting him from Demyx's words. "I've…told you a lot of things about Riku that he doesn't want you or _anyone _to know, so I can't tell you what he's done. But they are a burden to him, and this is his release."

"Why doesn't he…I don't know…_repent _them?"

"Riku's never been the God type, and God's never been the Riku type."

"How can you say that…? The bible says-…"

"The bible was written by the hands of men, Sora. God didn't send a telegram telling us what He wanted, and whatever He did…was lost by the hands of men." Demyx sat on the, surprise-surprise, pure white bed, interlocking his fingers nervously. "I sound so morbid, don't I?"

"Kinda…" I offered him a small, forced smile. "…I wish Riku would tell me all this. I could help him, right?"

"I think…he doesn't want anyone's help. He think he can handle it all himself – all these burdens, all these regrets and horrible memories. But he can't. He's afraid of you."

"Of _me_?"

"He's _afraid_…of you hating him for…_this_." Demyx started for the exit, "You'll do good for Riku..." He left, the door clicking softly behind him. I tore my eyes from the spot he had been to Riku, and, with much effort, dragged his larger body to the bed.

000---000

"Sora…wake up." Riku's voice, no longer slurred by intoxication, stirred me from my sleep. I hadn't meant to – I had wanted to lay next to Riku forever…at least, until he woke up. I wanted to be there for _him_, not the other way around. Even so, he was smirking good-naturedly. "I'm glad…that you came."

"You are?" Stupid question…he'd _begged _me to come.

"Of course…" Riku sat up, and I just the noticed my head was in his lap. I didn't mind, except he smelled sour, especially his breath. "You aren't going to yell at me, not like the others…are you, Sora?"

"No way..." I pulled myself to his chest, resting my face in the crook of his neck. "Riku, you can tell me anything…you know that, don't ch'you?"

"Swear you won't judge me if I do?"

"I swear it."

"Good."

"Good."

000---000  
_…to be continued…_

Yes, yes. I realize that this _is _incredibly short, and Demyx may seem OOC…but, really, everyone has their serious/brooding side, right? Anyway, this chapter was a little…hard for me to write…and don't get me wrong on the religious part, because my views are different than a lot of what was expressed in here.

_I LOVE REVIEWS, ESPECIALLY **YOUR **REVIEWS! –cheesy grin omg- _


	16. Guaranteed

**­Forever Lullaby  
XVI **Guaranteed  
**Chapter Rating** E10+ mild language  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **Oh my gaaawd, thanks to all of you for the 100+ reviews! I've doodled something that I know all of you REALLY wanttake out the spaces: h tt p / ww w . deviant art . co m / devia tion / 527 746 63 /

000---000

Oblivion Manor glimmered eerily in the evening sun, its shadow encroaching on the dying grass. I exchanged fervent glances with Kairi and Selphie, offering a halfhearted ensuring smile. It _was _less creepy than in the middle of the night; I could tell it was painted a very pale gray, and even though every other foliage was dead or dying, multicolored roses smothered the cracked front porch, positively pruned to perfection.

I was the first to take a step from the car, and the first to ring the doorbell — oddly modern and out of place — while my two friends nervously lingered some feet behind.

"So-_ra_, it's creepy!" Selphie whined, having just made it up to the first step before jumping back into Kairi; a cluster of spiders was now scurrying over the steps in a startled frenzy. "And I _detest _spiders."

"Nice word choice, Seph…" Kairi commented, her voice dripping with anxious sarcasm. I frowned at her, knowing that she usually only used sarcasm when she was nervous or lying, and, by the way her eyes wearily watched the spiders, this time was nerves. "they're _just _spiders, ya' know…" Even so, she lurched back when they headed in her direction. The black, swarming mass seeped into the yellowing grass, falling prey to large, crimson ants. I looked away — at least spiders didn't ruthlessly tear apart their victims…while they were still alive.

"C'm_on_," I rolled my eyes and dragged the pair up to the door, which remained unopened. I pressed the doorbell again, harder this time, though I doubted it'd make much of a difference.

"If they're going to invite us, they should at least let us in." Selphie complain. I shrugged, trying again, and again, and again. Finally, the door flew open, almost knocking us off the porch.

"You're so _persistent_," A man — at least, I _think _it was a man — sighed dramatically, leaning against the doorframe and sniffing a pink rose that matched his hair. "I see why Riku likes you…and for other reasons." Half-lidded eyes looked over me for a moment, then to Kairi and Selphie. His expression darkened. "I didn't know we had…_other_…guests."

"Er…these are my friends, Kairi," I gestured to her, "and Selphie." She didn't need to be shown — she jumped up with a hand waving enthusiastically in the air.

"Marluxia's the name…_Marly_, friends call me."

"You _have _friends…?" Rude comments brought to you by Selphie.

"I could ask the same…" He scowled briefly, then smirked. "Do come in…" He moved out of our way, bowing and holding his arm to the bustling living room. Unlike the outside of the manor, it had modern, and very exquisite, décor. There were a few people I hadn't noticed before; extravagantly dressed young men, some rather fidgety older men, and drifting from room to room were two out-of-place blonde females.

Riku sat on a pearly sofa, mingling with a silver-head man that resembled him too much _not _the be related, though his eyes were darker and his face…stoic-er. I froze where I stood, feeling my heart jump into my throat. We had been talking a lot over the phone for the past week, babbling on and on about random things, and while I felt like his personal therapist, it was always enjoyable and relaxing, especially after studying for hours for a difficult test.

"Sora…" Riku smiled from the sofa, tossing his hand in a sort of jubilant wave. "…and Kairi and Selphie." His lips curled into a soft smile and he stood to his feet. He crossed the room and took me by the hand. Kairi clamped my other, and Selphie, with some exclamation of this being the 'coolest train EVER', took Kairi's. Riku led us to the sofa, waving a hand at the man, who, with the same dull look on his face as when he talked, scooted to the armrest. The four of us plopped down next to him, halfway in each other's laps.

"At lease my baby will have loads of friends! You can all be like his uncles and aunts, right?" Selphie leaned over, direction the question to Riku.

"I'm not the once you should be asking," He nodded towards the man we'd seen in the restaurant, Xemnas or whatever it was. "and you know the gender already?"

"No…I just have this feeling." Selphie's hand drifted to the slight pudge in her stomach and stroked it lovingly. "I'll name him…Takumi, I think."

"For _'Talk_umi'?" I winced as Kairi lightly punched my shoulder. "I mean…that's a great name. What does it mean?"

"Artisan," Selphie didn't looked the slightest offended, "I know he'll be an artist."

"Are you psychic?" Funny thing was Riku was being serious. Selphie looked up, brushing a strand of brunette hair from her face, and shook her head. "Mother's intuition, then?

"I guess so." Selphie turned her head to Xemnas, biting a lip. "Should I ask?" We all nodded supportively and watched her approach the man, who was clad in an awkwardly tight Zebra print outfit.

000---000

Selphie didn't tell us what Xemnas had said, though there was this teasing grin on her face throughout dinner. I sat in-between Riku and Kairi, while, across from us, Demyx was ranting with Selphie about spiders taking over the manor. Roxas and Axel were further down the table, with a petite blonde girl — Naminé, I later realized — sparing glances at Roxas, and more fearfully at the other blonde, who had an evil smirk on her pretty face. At the head of the table sat Xemnas, who was diligently ignoring a blue-haired man — Saix or something — that was giving him flirtatious looks from the opposite side. A dejected looking guy with silverish blue hair sat next to Demyx, glaring at Selphie, while a large brunette with a funky hairstyle babbled on and on to him — though it might've been more productive talking to a brick wall. Other quieter people poked at their feast, either glowering or grinning stupidly at everyone else.

"Are you finished packing?" I asked Riku, vaguely noticing Kairi's envious glance, though Riku seemed to notice it more.

"Partially…and I'm sorry we couldn't bring Kairi, or Selphie." He said the second name out of loyalty alone. "We could only afford a couple of us to come, as well as you, Sora…"

"Who _is_ coming?" I prayed it wasn't the creepy silver-head I'd seen earlier.

"Sephiroth isn't — he's too cool for vacations…and-,"

"Who's Sephiroth?"

"Oh! Sephiroth's the guy who left earlier, the one who looks like me. He's my brother from another mother." It was possible, Riku sounded almost dorky imitating wangster, and it, for some reason, made me smile.

"Is Xemnas coming?"

"No, he's too busy with other 'affairs'…"

"With Saix?"

Riku snorted, and it nearly formed into a laugh. "We think so, but neither of them are saying anything. And, anyway, Demyx is coming along, and so are Roxas, Axel, Naminé, Larxene, Zexion, and, unfortunately, _Marly _—...basically, all the younger assa-…people."

"Oh, that's coo-…what about _assa_?"

"I was about to say _assholes_, but that'd be rude."

"Of course." I took a bite of my chicken, and then more, and corn, and potatoes, and about everything else. Riku watched with amusement, slowly and politely eating his own meal. "V'I g'know…" I said through bites, "_There fu youk poot it all, Sor'fa?" _

"I was going to ask that, but more…comprehendible." I opened my mouth to retort, but the loud**_THUNK_ **of a hand falling on the table shut us all up. We all stared at Selphie, who was standing, with Demyx's help, up. Her eyes were looked lazily at all of us, and a drunken smile twitched on her lips. She belched. "Who let _her_ have a drink…?" Riku hissed to no one in particular. Axel reluctantly raised his hand, though he was grinning ear-to-ear. Riku shot him a nasty look.

"All right, everybody!" Selphie waved her hand like she were a queen, "Now that I have your attention…I ought to inform each and every one of you how to kiss!" Larxene, the evil blonde, burst into devious giggles. "To find a vic-…_partner._" She didn't have to look long — she already had dragged Demyx to his feet. He was blushing, partially from her clingy grip, and that Zexion had nearly leapt across the table. "First, you lean in _reeaaaaallyyyy_ close," she did so, "and then you cup their cheek or neck or something…" Demyx was beet red, "FINALLY. YOU GIVE THEM A BIG WET SMOOOOOCH!"

I never saw what happened next — the entire table had broken out into chaos. Zexion had literally tore Selphie away from Demyx and dragged the poor guy to the floor, huddling over him in some form of protective/animalistic position. Selphie, having been interrupted of her instruction, had tackled Zexion and attempted to rip out his hair. After that, there was warmth in my hand, and fingers interlocking with mine, and I was led away from the room, getting hit on the head with a chicken breast before escaping to a dark, musky hallway.

Riku, my savior, led me up the staircases. "Xemnas is going to blow his head off…" He murmured, keeping determined eyes locked on the bypassing stairs. "Anything that interrupts a 'formal' dinner really pisses him off." I had a feeling that these were excuses, and we would've ended up ascending towards the roof anyway. I nodded soundlessly, squeezing his hand as if in understanding. Riku paused, dragging me down a step next to him. "I have something I wanted to show you."

"What's that?"

"You'll see. It's something you won't see in the middle of Big City." That reminded me — we were in the outskirts of the town, just touching the suburbs, but not quite in the cookie-cutter homes area. There was a genuine normalness in the neighborhood…no one was hiding their problems with a bitter sweetness. "…there's less lights here." I barely registered that we were climbing a rickety old ladder and popping out a squealing hatch. Riku helped me through, and I gaped. We were on the slanted roof.

"I don't like heights." I blurted.

"You're scared?"

"Not…scared."

"There's no courage without fear, Sora."

"Then I'm scared." I closed my eyes, not wanting to look past the slippery shingles. Riku gripped my elbows, carefully leading me up — away from the ground. I breathed in the air, mingled with the scent of a barbeque. Barbeques reminded me of camp fires, and that comforted me, though I wasn't sure why. Maybe because fires are warm and protecting…yet, with the slightest mistake, they could morph into your worst enemy.

"Open your eyes," His lips brushed against my ear, and my eyes automatically snapped open. Turquoise orbs flecked with emerald glided to the dark sky, and mine followed them. The deep velvet was speckled with millions of stars, far more than I'd ever seen. The city lights that I'd grown up with couldn't compare.

"Amazing…" I breathed honestly, looking back to Riku. A sudden emptiness stabbed at my gut when I realized we were no longer holding hands, and it seemed like Riku noticed. He dragged me down on the roof, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"See…you can't fall anymore."

"But what if you slide off?"

"…I won't."

"Can you guarantee that?"

"Satisfaction guaranteed," His voice was on the brink of husky, "or your money back…"

000---000  
_…to be continued…_

Sorry for lack of…lenghtyness. But I'm on Spring Break, finally! So expect _tons _of updating this week! YAY x3!


	17. Icy

**Forever Lullaby  
XVII **Icy  
**Chapter Rating **E10+ — sexual tension  
**Disclaimer** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **I lied D: I had writer's block all during Spring Break, which sucked butt. Bad. I couldn't get anything down without panicking and deleting the entire chapter. I promise longer/better chapters from now on, which is good, because the plot is _finally_, and _officially_, unraveling...

000----000

I'm sure that you've felt like you can't contain your emotions any longer, and it's about ten times worse when that person your emotions are directed towards is standing right next to you, their silky-soft hair brushing against your cheek…

I swallowed and turned my head, turning my attention to the desk manager, whose brows were furrowed as he briskly checked us all in to the Twilight Hotel. Right, so the weeks I'd been ticking off on my calendar had flown by, packed with college studying and people reminding me of the task that I un-brilliantly informed them of. My nerves were racked when we drove up to the ghettos of Twilight Town, the only building decorated in festive Christmas lights being Twilight Hotel.

The manager fit right in with the fancy attired guests who wandered around the lobby, sitting with their high noses stuffed in thick, old volumes. We shifted awkwardly, clearly sticking out like a sore thumb, except for Larxene, who was smartly clad in a midnight blue dress.

"All right," The manager pulled out a cloth and swept it at his sweaty forehead, "Four rooms — two guests for each. Great views — anything for Xemnas's kids." I swear a scowl flashed on his sharp face, "Here you are." He handed the keys to who he thought the most responsible — Riku, Zexion, Larxene, and Roxas. Axel rolled his eyes and took Roxas by the arm, dragging him to the elevator. Surprisingly, Roxas followed without complaint. My jaw slacked when the elevator door closed — Axel had lifted Roxas's chin by a thin index finger, a smile flashing on his lips. I almost toppled over when Roxas leaned closer.

"Whoa," I mumbled, vaguely noticing Riku's fingers intertwining in mine. He led me to a separate elevator while Larxene, who had the first floor, and Demyx, the top, were arguing about who had the greatest fear of heights.

The steel doors slid shut, and would've torn my nose off if Riku hadn't pulled me back. "Thanks…" My tone didn't sound grateful.

"Is something wrong?" Of course, Riku could pick up on anything, couldn't he? I shook my head no, vigorously worrying my lower lip. If I told him my real problems, I'd spill _everything_. That wasn't how it was supposed to happen…I had to have a plan, but whatever that plan was, it'd have to be impulsive.

The real problem: I couldn't think about planning without having a minor panic attack.

000----000

We reached the floor without Riku nagging — not that he _really_ had in the first place. I took a deep breath once we left the elevator, though it wasn't much improvement in the cramped, perfectly decorated hallway. We glanced at our room number, 223, and the door next to us. _223_.

"Well. That saves us the trouble of actual exercise." Riku commented in a jokingly snide tone. He slid the card through a thin slot, and I watched with fascination as the red light flashed green. I should've been used to this, but it always fixated me whenever I saw it. Riku shoved the heavy door open, nodding his head as he saw that I hadn't even looked in the room. I tore my gaze off the lock. For the second time that long day of anxious traveling mainly because I was nervous; not because of a long drive, my jaw plummeted towards the thick, crimson carpet. The lights above glowed softly, casting shadows on warm hued furniture. There was only one king-sized bed, but I didn't notice that, nor did I care. This place was perfect, flawless. It screamed — rather, _whispered_ — Zen, and all my worries seeped out one by one. I let out the breath that I realized I'd been holding, and grinned up at Riku. His ethereal features relaxed, and he grinned back. "I hoped you'd like it."

"Are you _kidding_ me?" I bit back a high-pitched gasp. High-pitched gasps are generally unattractive. "It's great, really."

"I'm glad." He crooked his head towards the bathroom. "I'll be in there…if you need anything, give a shout." He winked and slipped into the room. I stood there, a little frozen by the picture of one eyelid falling over a pool of molten emerald repeating over and over in my mind. I'm not sure why, but it melted me afterwards, and I tumbled clumsily to the bed, sinking in the soft covers. I made sure to check that Sora-colored liquid wasn't staining the carpet.

"Miss me?" Riku fell quietly next to me, an arm falling over the small of my back. I froze all over again. My eyes shut automatically — if I looked at him, I'd melt once more. "I guess not?" He, just as Axel had done, put a finger under my chin and gently tilted my head in what I guessed his direction. "You asleep? I wouldn't blame you…I'm pretty tired too."

"No, I just can't look at you." I mentally slapped myself. What kind of response was that?

"Hm, I'm just glad I can look at you. I'd prefer if you're eyes were open, though." He leaned in closer, his mint-intoxicated breath fanning over my face. "It's like looking straight into the ocean, or the sky on a clear day. Sora…_sky_…eyes with mirrors to the sky, it sort of makes sense, doesn't it?"

"When'd you get all poetic?" _Note to self: _**sarcasm** is the best remedy to an awkward situation.

"Since I met you, love," He said, sighing dramatically. I opened my eyes peek, glad that the look on his face was too funny not to do anything but burst into laughter. He snorted, nudging my shoulder with his own.

"Aw, thanks, _dearest_." I snorted, sitting up and panning once more over the room. Beside us was a large window that covered most of the wall with currents drawn tightly over it. The orange tint of a setting sun shone through, slowly morphing into the smoky twilight blue as time passed. It reflected in the dark wood of the table, in the far right corner, that was set next to the entertainment system. I grinned — a Wii, Xbox, PS2 and 3…it was all here, sitting innocently below the large LCD flat screen TV. I felt my insides melt in joy, not particularly like they did with Riku, but darn close. "Dude, man, whoa…wow..." I took a moment to let it all sink in, my boyish love for videogaming returning to me in an instant, "We'll be doing some _serious _gaming tonight!"

"I forgot to mention '_NO GAMING_'." Riku sat up as well, glaring pointedly at the entertainment section. I looked at him, confused. Is it even _possible _for someone with a Y chromosome _not _to love videogames with all his manly heart? "…I don't want any distractions from you, dufus!"

"Or," I started, already feeling the blush spreading over my cheeks. Since Riku was still sending a death glare at the videogames, I doubted he saw it. "you don't want _me_ to be distracted from _you_."

"Same difference." His head snapped towards me, and I sank involuntarily into the bed. A smile brushed his lips, and he leaned over, one hand on either of my sides. "You _nervous_?"

"About _what_?" Stupid question. My blush increased.

"You know what." Riku sounded huskier, and I wiggled to get from under him — to no avail. His hands slithered from my sides to my hips, their thumbs slipping under the hem of my shirt. I was breathing heavily, my nerves stomped to the ground by his cool touch, and the electricity it shot up my spine. I gripped his wrists before they could move any further, and tried to ignore the disgruntled look he gave me. "It's Christmas…think of this as a gift, or my revenge for that one night…" I knew what he was talking about, and he knew that I knew what he knew…_that _night at Starbucks, when I managed to pin him up against his car.

"No…" I couldn't think of a reason not to…maybe because I wasn't ready. I closed my eyes to avoid his — the emerald was shining, pleading me to allow us to go further. But I didn't…we weren't even dating…but did that matter, after he receives my gift? Speaking of which… "I have something for you first." I don't know how, but my tone remained calm and steady.

"Fine, but don't think I'm giving up just yet." Riku stood to his feet, dragging me up off the bed. I blinked, looking around the suitcases scattered on the floor. Spotting the black one that held the precious gift, I jumped at it and zipped it open. There, stuffed between red polka dot boxers, was the small box, wrapped messily in gold paper. I couldn't help but beam at Riku when I threw it at him. "It's…special…and…stuff…"

Riku raised an eyebrow, then lead me to the table, but not without taking out his own gift. It was a minute package, and I wondered what it was, though I was more eager for him to open his. He sat opposite of me, eyeing his package a bit suspiciously. I groaned, anxiously drumming my fingers along the wood. "It's not a _bomb_!"

"Fine, fine, but I can't be too careful with compulsive people like you." Riku sneered, but, after seeing I wasn't humored, tore at the wrapping paper. He paused, and I dared to look down at the rounded edges of the black velvet box. He recognized immediately what it was; I could see something flash in his eyes. "What is it?" I hated him to question the obvious, and couldn't find my voice. He didn't wait for the answer — he flipped it open. Stuck in a slit in the velvety cushion was the golden ring I had bought him. "This isn't…a proposal is it? Because, really, you should be kneeling if it is…"

"Er, no." I didn't have a plan — didn't have anything that I could say that wouldn't sound utterly idiotic, "It's a…ring." _Duh,_ "I'm asking you…to…be…my _boyfriend_." The words felt unfamiliar to my lips, and slurred out unnaturally. His bright eyes widened, and I could've sworn they were falling out of their sockets.

"Sora," Pause, "open my gift."

"Huh…is that…a no?" Not like I hadn't expected it.

"No, it's not a no. It's…just do it." He tossed the gift in my hands. For a moment, I could've sworn he was blushing, or at least a wee bit flustered. I swallowed, tearing nervously at the striped wrapping paper. Normally, I would've taken the bright colored bow and attempt to put it on my head, but it wasn't exactly the best time. Tears were pricking at my eyes. I sniffed, willing them to go away. I might not have Riku by the end of the week—at least, not in the sense that I wanted—but there were lots of fish in the sea, right? Not that they were all quite so strikingly good looking, or cool, or nice, or, if it was the right word, _needy _of me…and that made me feel special, to be some significance in someone's life. That might've been why Kairi was so intent on helping people; to feel special…_significant. _

My hands stopped shaking when they rested on small object held between my fingers. A ring…almost identical to the one I'd given to Riku, but stained in a silvery glow. I shifted it to my palm, watching the light reflect off the metal. Did Demyx have anything to do with this…? Hadn't he said something about Riku getting me something special as well? My eyes flew up to meet Riku's, and I froze. I hadn't noticed that he was leaning over, and my golden ring was on a slim finger. With that hand, he started putting on the silvery ring on the finger vertical to his own. He sent me a questioning glance, and I nodded soundlessly.

"Does that mean…?" My words were dry, but also soaked with emotion that I didn't understand.

"Yeah…" Riku drew his lithe hands back to his lap ­— something I'd prefer _not _to describe. "We can be boyfriend-boyfriend…"

"You really want that?"

"Of course," Riku's voice was soft, comforting. He stood up, brining me along with him, and dragged me back to the bed. We fell into the comforters together, hands together. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know," I leaned back and he fell back with me. "Maybe because I'm so…imperfect. You're so…not imperfect."

"You helped me these past few weeks like no one has before..." He spoke fluently, as if blurting his deepest sentiments was nothing special. I pushed that thought away. "You're the first person to _care_."

"What about the others? Roxas?"

"They cared, but they...Roxas is my best friend, but it's not the same, you know?"

"Yes, I know." An image of Kairi flashed in my mind. "We're going out now, I guess."

"Cool."

"_Icy_."

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

I would write more to the chapter, but I think it's good where I left off. Plus, Frodo is distracting me. xD;;


	18. Hate

**Forever Lullaby  
XVIII **Hate  
**Disclaimer **Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix & Disney  
**A/N **Sorry for the somewhat longer wait than usual…I've been sorta busy rushing to get my WWII project done while writing some tidbits of this chapter during class…when I should be doing work... but anyway, R&R, luvs!

000---000

I hate dreams, nightmares specifically. They never make sense, ever. Maybe sometimes, but they always have this underlying of philosophy. That might've been why I agreed to take Philosophy, very unwillingly, because I hoped that it'd explain my dreams/nightmares.

It never did.

_There was silver, a whole bunch of it. I swam in it, drowned in it, frolicked in it – it had possibilities, oddly. Like an ocean of silk. I had a vague reminder of Riku, but it was a dream and I didn't assume it. Not then. There was bright green, shimmering in the sea of silver like the green of the dark depths of the ocean when you watch it from a long way-a-way, except I was drowning in it. I couldn't breath, couldn't think but of some other silver; darker and more deadly. I couldn't tell what it was, but there was a trigger, but it wouldn't close. I'm not sure why I was trying to pull it, but I was. No thought process, nothing. I choked on the silver, clung to the trigger that wouldn't budge. I slipped, and a bullet rocketed through the suffocating ocean. I reached for the ragged hole. _

I couldn't move. I was paralyzed, overwhelmed. Dying…

"Sora!" Someone was shaking me. There was a screaming, shrill and deafening. I reached up to my ears, wincing at the sound. Please stop screaming…stop…please. I shouted blearily at the screamer. "It was only a dream!" My eyes fluttered open, and I clamped my mouth shut. Silence followed, and I realized that I had been the one shrieking.

"It wasn't a dream," I whispered, turning my head from him – Riku. "_Nightmare._" I didn't care if I sounded like an incoherent caveman. Riku could help me with my nightmare. He was strong.

"Nightmares aren't real," Even he sounded uncertain of that statement. Weren't we all? Many in Philosophy believed that dreams/nightmares might've been premonitions, or forewarnings that our subconscious tries to point out at us. Some even believed that it was like a movie, entertainment, that our mind provides us while it restores our body's energy. "Take deep breaths." He was whispering soothingly in my ear, and I automatically obeyed.

"It was so real, but so…unreal." I could feel it like it was actually happening, but when had there ever been an ocean of silver? "You know what I mean?"

"Sorta," Riku shifted in the sheets, and I stiffened. I glanced down at our bodies, letting out a breath of relief as we were both fully clothed. "I don't dream a lot."

"Oh…I do, but I never remember it. Not as much as this one, anyway."

"What was it?"

"Forget it, no biggie."

"Whatever you say, but you can tell me whatever you want." He winked, and I felt myself freezing and defrosting all over again. I flushed and sat up against the walls, bringing my knees to my chest. I pressed my cheek against a knee and watched Riku as he ordered room service. "Chocolate muffin or blueberry muffin?"

"Chocolate!"

"All right, send down two chocolate muffins, please. Make sure they're really _biiiiiiiig_, like my -…" He blinked, glaring down at the receiver. "…they hung up on me. How rude!"

"Is your _meep_ as big as a muffin? Because, really, I haven't seen any big muffins, so that must mean your _meep_ isn't all that big." I stuck out my tongue, which was briskly gripped between Riku's fingers.

"Cat got your tongue?" He stuck out his own tongue, the tip almost stroking mine. I squeaked, shoving him roughly away. He rolled his eyes, then pinned his hands against my shoulders, and his knees into my thighs. "This cat wants your tongue."

"Riku…" My voice hitched painfully in my throat and I tried to push him away. He didn't move, his expression determined. "Let's go to the Jacuzzi!" Thank God for hotels and their distractions. Riku blinked, startled by my sudden enthusiasm as I wriggled out from under him and searched for my red swimming trunks.

"But our muffins…"

"We can get them later, silly!"

"Fine…but you know the thing about Jacuzzis?"

"What's that?"

Before Riku could reply, there came a loud knock on the door. We paused, both our mouths open in preparation to make a sure snippy come back. Riku frowned heavily, then reached over my shoulder to open the door. His hands momentarily brushed my sides, and I sucked in a desperate breath. He returned back, his features now completely stoic. I looked to see who had interrupted our serious muffin talk.

"Riku," Roxas started coolly, "we need to talk." His eyes flashed as Riku pulled me up against his chest, sticking out his tongue childishly, though when I looked up, his eyes remained dark - menacing.

"How about another time? Me and Sora here were headin' down to the Jacuzzi and..." He trailed off, his hands dropping to his sides. "...sorry, love, I've got to have a conversation with my dear partner in crime," He gripped me by the wrists, kissing my knuckles. I flushed, of course, and he smiled apologetically.

The two left, arguing in hushed tones. I stood there, facing the window. Light snow clouds approached the sun, sending shadows over the room. Something urged me to follow them, though another side warned me not to. I bit my lower lip, clenching and unclenching my hands. Sighing, I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, then slipped out of the room.

I tip-toed quietly behind the two of them, catching only bits and pieces of their conversation, but not enough to make any sense of it. They slid into Roxas's room, accidentally leaving the door open just a bit. I found it odd, almost suspicious, but was gracious and stood beside it, gripping the wall to not fumble and do something stupid.

"I fear for you," One voice said, Roxas, sounding genuinely concerned. "If you don't do it, one of us will have to finish the job."

"I will do it." I stifled a gasp. Riku sounded devoid of emotion, except for some deep malice. Were all the smiles...the sparks in his emerald eyes...were they all just a facade? But what was he trying to hide?

"Do you plan to keep that ring?" Roxas sneered, "Could you actually live with yourself?"

"...I don't know."

"I like Sora; he's a good kid...nothing like his father..."

"I have my orders."

"Revenge is what you're doing, but against the wrong person. Xemnas views you as a son he never had, you could convince him to change his mind..."

"You don't understand; that can be expected."

"No, I can't understand exactly...but you love him...I see it when you're around him."

"It's all an act. I will eliminate Sora, as planned..."

Shock, I can't explain it any other way, racked my senses unmercifully. A cry slipped my lips, hardly audible. Silence ensued, and the figures behind the door shifted. Shadows fell over the slight crack, and then widened as the door was opened. A hand reached out and gripped me by the collar my shirt, dragging me to my feet. I stared at Riku, jaw slacked.

"Go," Riku hissed. He dropped me to the ground, not bothering to hold me steady. I sprawled onto the hard carpet, unable to bring myself up again. His lip curled with obvious hate, and he leaned over, gripping a handful of my hair and bringing me towards his face. "Find some place safe." He whispered in my ear. His voice was altered again; caring, affectionate, though when he pulled away he was glowering. "You have an hour head start...I like to chase my prey, makes the hunt so much more excitable."

000---000

I rolled up the windows and let out a loud, long scream of anguish. I fell against the steering wheel, wetting the leather with rivets of salt and feeling. I couldn't comprehend anything; I couldn't explain why it hurt so much. My heart was torn in two, the edges ripping so it could never be mended again. I felt as suffocated as I had in my dream — the ocean of silver was seeping into my body, clogging my throat and obstructing my breathing.

I sucked in as much air as possible through pained gasps. I bit down on the wheel, ignoring the revolting taste, and when that wasn't enough, I clamped down on my wrist — an excruciating attempt to cut myself with my teeth.

Then it stopped; the crying subsided to thick sobs. There was a small dribble of red trickling down my wrist, staining the car's furnishing. Everything in it reminded me of Riku...it smelled of cinnamon and mints, and, hell, there were even scattered strands of silver. I jammed the keys, he had thrown them at my head earlier, and started the car. I violently pulled out of the hotel, hardly registering to where I was driving.

Somewhere safe.

_Safe_?

I couldn't even save myself anymore. A padded white room wouldn't have stopped me from tear at my own skin, shredding myself apart to even out the pain with my heart...

000---000

I trailed along the fence that bordered my old high school's courtyard, gripping the triangular gaps to keep steady. They left burning imprints into my fingers, but I didn't really notice the sting. I was already freezing, numbing, building concrete walls around what was left of my frayed heart. Why, _**why**_, would Riku do this to me? I was just his puppet, wasn't I? He planned to trash me once I had served my purpose, which I thought I had done quite well. I'd fallen for him, ambushed, and severed myself apart so it'd be easier for him to complete the job.

I let out a detached sigh through my cold blue lips. A jet black car pulled up on the other side of the fence. I halted, letting my hands slide to my warm jean pockets. A door opened, then slammed, and the thumping of snow-booted feet over frozen pavement echoed in the empty street. A figure ran through the gate that separated us, and hands fell on my shoulders. I closed my eyes.

"Sora, you look…dead," Such a true statement.

I cracked a pained smile. "That's because I _am _dead,"

"You're breathing aren't you?"

"On the outside," I inhaled deeply, but felt nothing. I couldn't _feel _the crisp air filling my lungs, I only acknowledged it as required oxygen, and only that.

"I wasn't…wasn't going to kill you…"

"Well, you're quite the talented actor." _Voice box rumbling — a waste of air._

"I just wanted you out of there…if I didn't get rid of you, _someone _would."

"Such valiant efforts all in vain."

"What's _wrong _with you?"

"I'll die in the end, won't I? So…there's not much point to _anything _if it's really _nothing_."

"I can help…I have connections ­­— you could hide…become someone else."

I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"I'm Sora Watanabe, and nothing can truly change that. At least, not if I can help it." There was a spark of emotion in my chest, and then voidness ebbed at it, eliminating everything that I'd used to be. In approximately one hour, Riku had succeeded in killing Sora.

"It'll change if you're dead!" He snapped, his emerald eyes burning into mine. I stared back, _cold_.

"'Told you before; I'm already dead."

We stood there for a moment, staring each other down. Then, Riku's hands drifted down to my wrists, pulling my hands up between us. He caressed a thumb over the silver that was my ring, gaze transfixed. He parted his lips to say something, but no sound proceeded. A flicker of fear and malice crossed his features. Heavy metal brushed my scalp. "How does it feel to feel so _betrayed_, I wonder?" There was a sound that I'd never imagine to hear out of movies and bad cop shows — the cocking of a gun.

"Put it down, Xemnas," Riku snarled, "_I _will do the honors." Instantly, I was looking down the barrel of a second gun — Riku's. He leaned over, his petal-soft lips brushing against my earlobe. "On my word, _run_." He pulled back, and I anxiously waited for…"_Corré!" _

_**Run**_.

I spun on my heels, blasting towards the school building. I cut through the icy air, letting it mercilessly whip my cheeks, nose, and wet eyes. The world outside was blurred into a gray mass with objects smearing together. There were shouts above the deafening wind; all sounds incomprehensible except for the gun shot that shattered through the barrier of sounds. I stopped abruptly, toes digging into slush, and toppled on to the ground in front of the gym. I looked behind my shoulder to see a streak of silver blasting in my direction with a fun hoisted in one hand. I scrambled to my feet and heaved the door open. With water splashing around my ankles, I blindly sprinted through the locker rooms. I collapsed against a wall and slid, gripping at anything, but only finding smooth tiles slick with condensation and sweat.

"SORA!" Riku kneeled in front of me, checking that I was still intact.

"You're bleeding…" I mumbled and pointed to his crimson shoulder.

"It's nothing…Xemnas would never actually kill me, just impair…" He trailed off, and I just noticed he'd been crying. Surprisingly, this didn't phase me at all. It was fake ­— it had to be all pretend. His hand over my cheek meant nothing, other than being that very same hand that would hold the gun over my chest and squeeze the trigger.

"Don't touch me, Riku,"

"I'm not going to—"

"I don't care. I hate you."

"But­—"

"I _hate _you."

"No, no you don't…I _know _you don't…"

"_**I HATE YOU!**_"

000---000  
_…to be continued… _

I admit this chapter was hard for me to write, especially bending the lines of OOCness…but I think it was justified enough with Sora's heartbreak…even though he hasn't known Riku that long, he's just a sensitive guy, you know? More on that laterrrr…

Review if you'd like! X3 _  
_


	19. End

**Forever Lullaby  
XVIV **End  
**Rating **T—strong language and violence**  
Disclaimer **Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney

000---000

It was the next day, or maybe the next, after '_The Incident_'. I was truthfully surprised and a little disappointed that Riku had left me alive. And even after all those hours that passed by painstakingly slow, my broken thoughts plagued me, and my cheeks stung of salty tears. My bed shifted in weight and I looked up at Roxas. He was staring out the window, watching the horizon with apprehensive eyes. I turned my head in his line of vision. The obscured sun was rising behind dark billows of smog.

Roxas sighed. "You shouldn't have said what you did." His head declined towards me. I pulled the sheets over my chin. "Riku has a short temper, and takes everything literally, even if you don't really hate him."

"But I _do _hate him," I sounded so weak ­— so unconvinced of my own emotions. I sunk further into the covers.

"_Man_," He stood up and paced the apartment, his calloused hands — I now knew why, and would've been intrigued how weaponry could do such damage if it was any other situation — clenching and unclenching at his sides. "I wish that were true. It'd make things so much easier."

I silently concurred to that wish, but said instead, "There's nothing we can do about it now." I let my eyes flutter shut, and if it wasn't for Roxas's feet pattering on the crudely-carpeted floor, I would've drifted into a surely restless sleep.

"Except to find Riku." The blonde turned to me, and I lifted a heavy eyelid. "You don't expect him to leave you alone, right?" He sat back down, "He's just waiting for the opportune moment, that's all."

"Then _why _would we try to _find _him?" I hissed, opening the other eye to give Roxas a critical look, "Incase you've forgotten, he's trying to kill me. Is this what you're supposed to do, try and locate your killer so his job is just that easier?"

Roxas laughed. The son of a bitch actually _laughed_. "He knows where you are, I can guarantee that he knows exactly where you are, even if you leave this apartment and hide. I would've suggested hiding if it had been a safer option, which it isn't. Riku may be compulsive sometimes, but he is one of the most elite assassins in the world, although also one of the most modest. He knows better than to kill you in an apartment building, and it isn't quite…cinematic enough for him."

"So I'm supposed to be cooped up in this dingy apartment for the rest of my life?" I snapped coolly, unable to grasp a sliver of patience.

His brow creased, "It's either that or death." What a hypocrite.

"If you're going to live, you might as well _live_." I paused, then bolted up, the sheets falling to a bundle at my waist. "I've got an idea!" I declared, waiting for Roxas to come up with a smart remark, but when there was none I continued, "_You _could be my bodyguard."

"I highly doubt you could afford my expertise." He jumped when my phone went off. _Sexy Back _sounded extremely loud compared to the low tones we'd been speaking in.

"It's Riku." I reached instinctively for my cell, which was strewn on the ground, but Roxas grabbed at it first. He held it to his ear, attentively listening to whoever was on the other line, and I prayed it wasn't my former-lover-now-future-killer. "Put it on speaker phone," I whispered, and promptly found cold fingers covering my mouth.

Roxas abruptly snapped the phone closed without a goodbye, "He wants to meet us."

"Where?"

"Where do you think?" "I dunno, an abandoned warehouse, alleyway, graveyard…somewhere ominous like that."

His lips lifted into an almost horrifyingly twisted smile. "He's a funny one, that Riku."

"I don't see the humor."

'Where was the place you guys first met?"

"Starbucks." I replied instantly. "Why?"

"I suggest you take a weapon of sorts with you," Roxas started for the door, then paused and looked over his shoulder expectantly.

"_Wait_!" I cried, jumping to my feet and stumbling. He rolled his eyes. "You expect me to _go_?"

"Either work it out or kill him." Roxas said monotonously — it's not like letting some guy you hardly knew kill your life-long best friend is really that big of a deal.

"That's impossible! Even if I _wanted _to kill him, I wouldn't be able to do it."

"You go to Princeton, right?"

"I don't see what that—,"

"Riku's a bit mentally impaired, if you catch my drift."

"But I thought you said—,"

"As I'm sure you've already figured out, he's a very…diverse person."

"Oh."

We left the apartment in silence, mainly because everyone was asleep by sundown. Roxas look so indifferent about the situation that I wasn't sure whether that was comforting or nerve-wracking. He kept massaging something in his pocket, and my best guess was that that something was a knife.

Then it hit me, hard. It shouldn't have, because it was just that obvious.

_I turned my head towards the door, where Riku was patiently waiting outside. Demyx nodded his head, as if permitting me, and I drifted outside the building. I crossed through the doors, partially noticing them moving aside by themselves, smiled inquiringly and at Riku. **He shifted from foot to foot, fingering something under his long coat. **_

Shit. I was so stupid — that was back at Starbucks, weeks ago. He'd been planning it then, to kill me. How many times had he come over to my workplace, planning to kill me but never doing it? It didn't make sense to me, had he been planning to kill me at the Twilight Hotel? It seemed like a good place, I thought painfully, but it didn't make sense with what Roxas had said.

"Roxas," I said as we piled into his car, which was as jet-black as Riku's, "Why did he take me to the hotel if he wasn't going to…you know?"

"…" Roxas revved the engine with too much convection, "Because…he _wasn't _going to hurt you. He couldn't do it, after realizing what he felt for you. He invited you because it was _romantic_, not because it was a good place to take you out."

"Then…is there still hope?"

He was taking the longest route to Starbucks. "It's possible…"

"But improbable." I finished for him.

More quiet filled with unasked questions.

Riku thought that I hated him, and he despised me because of it. God. It would've been so much better if we'd never met, although I knew it was an intentional meeting. And Roxas had been a part of it. He hadn't expected Riku to…fall…in…love. I proceeded this mental statement by whacking my head repeatedly on the dashboard, hoping to do the trick just for the both of them.

"Stop that. Riku'll bitch at me forever if you die before he gets the chance to do the honors."

"Why _are_ you helping me?"

"If you're going to be _that _ungrateful…"

"I'm sorry, that's not what I meant it to sound like…"

"'Used to it," Roxas shrugged. A lengthy pause. "Sora," He turned his gaze briefly in my direction, "you make him _very_ happy."

"Everyone…you, Axel, Demyx…you're all doing this for _me_, aren't you?" I felt dazed with the prospect of people other than Kairi caring enough to put their jobs, and lives, on the line.

"No…" Roxas smirked, "For you _and _Riku. Try to sparse your use of 'me'."

The car screeched to a halt before I could reply. I blinked, just noticing that we had barely missed crashing into a dark, hunched figure. We were in the dark alley behind Starbucks — where no one could hear you scream.

"It's time," He whispered and unlocked the doors. The obscured figure sauntered closer.

I opened the door and slowly stepped onto the wet pavement. Moon and starlight barely trickled in between the two walls, providing just enough illumination to cascade shadows against strayed trash bins. It reeked of rotten trash and dying things, and I threw up slightly in my throat. This was my murder-scene. Lovely.

"Riku…" I choked out weakly. He kept coming closer in silence. I could now see strands of silver trickling from under his hood.

"_Sora_," He mocked. "Easy or hard way?" His voice reverted to a casual and heartless state. More throwing up in my mouth. I swallowed, cringing at the acid taste.

"Wh-what?"

Riku pulled out a gun and a knife, both cold steel and deadly. "The gun," He explained with bored patience, "Is the easy way — faster and less agonizing. The knife," He lifted it to my throat and ran it slowly along the skin, just barely drawing blood. I bit my tongue to keep from crying out. "Is the hard way."

"L-love." I was involuntarily backing up while Riku followed, his blazing emerald eyes catching my own azure ones and holding them there.

Emotion danced upon his visage, especially evident in his shadowed face. "Been there, done that."

My back pressed up against one of the walls, and he stopped. "Please…"

"I wish you imbeciles would realize that begging won't get you anywhere."

"I'm different, I—"

"No, you're just the same as the rest of them. So fearful of death that you'll sink as low as lying."

Compulsively, I ripped down his hood and forcefully pressed my lips against his. He didn't respond at first, then bit down on my bottom lip. I didn't let go until blood seeped into my mouth and down my chin. The back of his hand connected with my cheek, snapping my head against the wall. The gritty dirt mixed with blood and bile in my mouth.

"The hard way," The words were met with steel embedding into my hand that gripped him by the elbow.

"_Enough_," Someone shoved Riku away. I hadn't realized that I'd been screeching so much that my throat burned. I let my mouth hang open as Roxas pushed me back against the wall, his arms stretched out as a human barrier. One dropped briefly and sunk something heavy in my pocket. With horror I realized what it was.

"Move, Rox," For a moment, compassion laced Riku's hazardously graveled voice. With a flick of dark metal, a gun was pointed only centimeters below his heart. A bullet would be fatal there.

"Don't kill him," Roxas said firmly, "He loves you."

"Move."

"And you love him."

"_Move_."

"No."

"…"

Bang.

Roxas crumpled to the ground, dark crimson liquid seeping into a puddle around his limp body. My shaky, impaled hand reached to turn him over. More blood poured out of his open mouth. I threw up again, except that it poured onto the ground and seeped into the widening puddle.

"ROXAS!" I looked around for the new speaker, but could hardly see through the red haze obstructing my vision. "…oh God. No. _No. NO._"

Riku was in front of me, completely ignoring the string of curses that were being thrown at him. His face was pale and shell-shocked. "Axel," He spoke softly and steadily, "I'm—," He was interrupted by a fist connecting with his jaw.

"…a fucking bastard with a suddenly shorter life expectancy." Axel growled, his usually flamboyant jade eyes glinting with dark, murderous rage.

"Move." The same words. My head was spinning. Axel noticed me for the first time, and instead of moving away, blocked Riku even more.

"Ax…el…" I fumbled, "…please…_move_."

"No." _Not again_.

"You still have time to save him." Riku was up on his feet again, red splatters covering his coat.

Axel reached for me, but Riku's finger slithered to the trigger. "Sora," He whispered, "good luck."

"_Move._" Riku and I ordered simultaneously. Axel gently gathered Roxas into his arms and bounded out of sight, leaving blood trails behind. I turned my head towards Riku, whose gun was redirected between my eyes. I tried to stand but trembled and landed in my own blood and bile.

Lightning split the sky and thunder rumbled. Shingles tinkled with soft rain. I could've laughed at how damn cliché the whole thing was.

"I don't usually say this…" Riku started, his voice shaking, "Any last words?"

"Yeah, I fucking love and hate you at the same fucking time," I let out a strangled, brittle laugh. "Isn't that so fucked up?" I reached out into my pocket and shot, hardly taking the time to aim. Riku screamed the same way I had and fell to the ground after his own gun had done so. I watched him hunch over his hand, which now bore a hole similar to mine.

I didn't bother to budge as he tackled me onto my back, his mangled hand closing over my throat. Everything that was surrounded in darkness before increased tenfold, and every time I attempted to draw in breath, nothing happened except a blinding pain that escalated somewhere in my chest. And then it stopped. I sucked in deep, desperate breaths, and almost drowned in the rain.

More of that bothersome blood splattered on my chest. It didn't hurt, though. Maybe dying was a pleasant thing; a relief. I contented that my last feelings would be the rain washing away the blood and grime and whatever the hell that other shit was, but why did I suddenly feel so warm?

I opened my eyes and saw a beautiful, blissful face. An angel? With amazing emerald eyes and ethereal features…and waves of silver hair.

"I'm so sorry, Sora."

000---000  
_…to be continued…? _


	20. Epilogue

**Forever Lullaby  
****XX **Epilogue  
**Disclaimer **Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix and Disney  
**A/N **I think I cried a little D:

000---000

Riku hovered over the grave, his visage as stony as the tombstone below. His gray eyes skimmed it, reading over his name etched meticulously into the slab. A description, what he liked to call 'dead-humor captions', was written below in smaller text.

_A friend. _

Down two graves was someone who visited often. He couldn't quite put his finger on the name of him, but he jolted his lost memory rather violently. The ghost wasn't exactly in the most RIPed state; there was something he needed to finish, that was all he knew, before there was any chance of moving on.

And that brunette had something to do with it.

The kid was crazy, he must've been, because he muttered to the graves a lot. The two graves beside Riku's, those lucky souls had already moved on quickly, had some significance to his mortal life. Roxas had helped the kid out, saved him from someone, but it was too late to save himself. He'd died in the hospital from blood loss. The person next him and Riku was Axel, who had committed suicide because he couldn't save his friend.

Riku wondered who these people were, and why it hurt so much to think about them. He always pictured yellow when he thought of Roxas, and a blazing red associated strongly with Axel. Their hurt was nothing compared to the brunette, the living kid, though.

Azure eyes lifted and a wave hit Riku. He almost doubled over and had to look away before he lost control and revealed himself. Ghosts could show up, although most of the ones he, rarely, associated with preferred not to give other living people heart attacks.

The kid stood up gradually, moving like a dream in the blurred world Riku was now forced to cope with, but unlike most, he stood out bright and clear against the dark. He laid a yellow rose for Roxas, a red for Axel, and a white for Riku. He stopped at the ghost's grave, his fingers lingering on the surely cold tombstone. It was covered with slick ice from the snowfall from the night before, which Riku had not felt in the slightest. He didn't feel much from the living world anymore. The only thing he associated with it was the time. After the rather shocking memorial service — there were so many people he didn't even remember mourning over him and the other two — he had eventually found out that he'd died two weeks ago. Although, he was lucky enough to recall his own name.

"Riku," The name slurred off the kid's tongue. His tears were seeping into his mouth. Riku reached out to wipe them away, but they were intangible...all he could feel was a radiance of warmth. "I...dunno how you're doing up there. I hope you and Roxas and Axel have made up! I want you to know that I forgive you. It's really hard to still love you after all that's happened..." He trailed off, taking a minute to breath, "...but I do, and I hope when I get all old and wrinkly and die, we get to meet again. But don't worry! You wouldn't want me to stop having fun just because you have...I just hope you'll wait for me, though. Wait for me."

Memories weaved their way in and out of Riku's mind, an intricate design that made no sense. Then they all clicked, all the frayed edges were fixed and sewn together into a perfect and tender mural. _Sora. Love. Sora. Hate. Love. Love. Love. _

Everything was lifted. He knew what had happened, his life had flashed in front of his eyes after death. He loved Sora, and knew what he had to do. Somehow, the world kind of made sense to him. _War, peace, death, life, hate, love_...they all tied together and were in secure balance.

"Sora," His voice broke through the murk, rang like a bell. Below him, the brunette tensed. Riku smiled and his feet touched the wet grass. It was so cold and it felt so _good_.

He leaned over, one hand cupping over Sora's warm cheek and turning it. His lips gently caressed the other's, chaste and complete. "Don't worry anymore," Sora's eyes fluttered closed, and when they did so they were opened. "I love you."

Three words that meant nothing and yet everything.

_The End_


	21. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

First of all, many thanks to all my reviewers! Whether you stuck around for the long haul or just wrote one review, all your suggestions/praise were greatly appreciated! No matter if I argued with you about your (very helpful!) contstructive critisism.

One of my friends is (or may?) be making a manga based off of this! So once she's completed the first volume/chapter, I'll definitely post the link here! She's already showed me the storyboards and sketches that she has at the moment, and I can say it'll be really awesome...and will guarantee the damn cutest chibis you've ever seen!

Also, I apologize for not reading/reviewing stories when I promised to do so ;; I'll get to it soon!

**Now for the really cool news!**

I _may _be submitting this in Kumoricon '07! I'm not sure how my parents will react, or if they allow shounen ai. I read the rules and they didn't specifically address it, so I'm not sure if I will be able to use Forever Lullaby.

I _am _going to submit _something_, though. Probably Kingdom Hearts..._maybe_ DN Angel. I don't think I'll do romance, because after writing shounen ai for so long it's somewhat hard for me to go back to straight pairings...

It'll probably be comedy/crack 8D

If you're going (it's in Oregon, by the by. it sounds like a really fun convention, so if you're interested look it up!), be sure to look out for the penname Pretty Rainbow. Also, that'd be really great if you want to meet up there. I'll probably be cosplaying as Namine, and if not...I'll be holding up a sign for Kingdom Hearts lovers xD;; or something...

And also!

I'll be editing Forever Lullaby soon...I did redo chapters 1-3, but then my laptop crashed and eh D:

Look out for updates!


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